Yahoo Groups is going away

[evile]

 

I got a notice that Yahoo Groups will be going away and all content will be deleted Dec 14. Which caused me to go and look at a long-disused group I started for myself a long time ago, kind of a 'personal journal' in which I kept thoughts, worries, wishlists, snips of emails and IMs I wanted to keep and ponder, etc. As I called it, "E's Journal, events in her life,recipes, diets, crazes, costuming, whatever"

 

Looking back, I see it mostly as an attempt to regulate what appears to be an undiagnosed, untreated ADD/ADHD mental problem, a place to put all of my disorganized, disordered, racing, repetitive, invasive thoughts and try to keep my external life as focused and together as possible...it's rather a mess.

I also see that I treated the people in my life at that time rather badly. Not that they are or were great people, or blameless in their own right or treatment of me (and others), but I definitely see clearly my part in the dynamic, and the unkind damage I did to them by being who and what I was at that time, as well.

I'm not going to seek forgiveness or friendship from anyone back then....but I will try and pay it forward. I can see and appreciate the progress I've made internally with my own self, and I will  definitely work hard to appreciate and treat well those people who are currently in my life, and maybe even treat myself a bit better because yes, I have  improved, as slowly and as long as it took to get here.

 

I had this image of you
You had this image of me
And your image would talk to my image
And my image would talk to your image
And somewhere along the way
Our images sort of let each other down