(no subject)

My sister H called me day before yesterday about trying to get the inheritance settled; apparently Mom and Stepdad G not only made H. their Executor and medical, financial, and legal power of attorney, they also made her the sole heir with the understanding or instructions that she'd be in charge of dividing up whatever was left after they were both gone. She's talked with the trust that is holding the bulk of the money, Mom and G's lawyers, tax people, and her husband who is a financial advisor...and it looks like the way it is set up its' going to take a huge chunk in taxes. So to offset that she wanted to put it into a 6 month CD to gather some interest and then disburse it, so April-ish? I told her thats' fine and I trust her and I want her to do whatever is best for her own finances, first, because she's taken up such responsibility and it really is her call how to handle it. She doesn't even want to give herself a stipend as the executor, which is really normal and I feel totally fair since she's done and is doing so much work to take care of Mom and G and their stuff and everything.

I'm worried about getting together enough $ for annual property taxes in January. I've had a couple of interviews. The most recent one, I wont' be hearing one way or the other until late this month, so that's not going to be a lot of time to scrape together 6 or 7 grand for end of January. Thax says not to worry, he's going to be able to take care of it. But he's already taken on pretty much everything but the weekly groceries for dinner and I am feeling like an absolute burden. He insists I'm not. But everything is getting more and more expensive and I do worry.

I reread part of my journal from 2016 when El Stinko Pendejo The Clown won the 2016 election. I took a cruise to be out of the country on inauguration day, I had a bad feeling about it. Turns out my bad feeling was right, just too early.

Looking at Belize real estate listings. Found one in Toledo that I really really like. over 21 acres, lots of fruit and cacao trees, and a creek with swimming holes and stairs already built down to the water. The house itself is a 'palapa' but has electricity and starlink satellite for internet. $160,000.

I really need to get off my ass and get my 'QRP' [qualified retired person] status squared away--you have to be 45 or older and have proof of a minimum monthly income so that you won't be trying to take away any Belizean jobs. You can start a business in Belize as a QRP person, though. And once you have your QRP, you can import all your stuff & your car duty-free. 160K is high.

I guess I'm getting some lotto tickets tomorrow, lol.

Anyhoo...life is oK. I'm actually tired. I have some hives that keep coming back every morning on my left inner elbow, where it bends. I don't know if I'm getting sweaty in the night and getting a heat rash (I kind of sleep with my arms curled up) or if it's a reaction to the Lithium Orotate that I started taking. I took it two nights in a row and had the rash, so I am quitting and hopefully it will go away. No other symptoms as far as I can tell.


I also remembered that I have been forgetting to take Tesofensine (triple reuptake inhibitor) for ....well, probably since I went to CO in late april to help Sam pack and move back to TX. So...hey, maybe take that thing that keeps me from being so terribly depressed and crazy and has a nice side effect of curbing my appetite and helping me not overeat and not snack endlessly? yeah.....maybe get back on that.

I had a job interview via Microsoft Teams this week; it went OK but not super great. I dont' think I'm going to get it, but they said they would be interviewing for a couple more weeks so I won't know until almost end of sept.  unemployment is going up and the job market is shrinking.  I've put in for a few more things this week, feeding that pipeline as Thax calls it. sigh. Feeling pretty worthless and useless and like a burden. It sucks. I have paranoia that Thax wants to divorce.  I would be sad but I would understand; I'm not very good to be around right now with my head up my ass and all. He isn't getting his needs met. I am so fucked in the head that I can't even identify whether or not I even have any needs. Or wants. Or anything. Come on  Giant Asteroid!!! (also can I say I hate that I am apparently turning in to my mom? My l knee and r ankle hurt almost constantly and I have started walking like I remember her walking,, kind of a stiff weeble wobble waddle, I'm negative and miserable and self involved and all I want to do is be dead. How fucking tedious. shut up. get a fucking job. do something productive with your time. clean house. just something. Pack for Belize. goddamn.)