"Transitioning"

My sister H. just called. The hospice worker let her know that mom is officially in "transition"...she hasn't been eating or drinking for a while, isn't terribly responsive to anything, not even her usual 'no' to questions and small laugh when people say something interesting or funny.

So my mom will be dying soon. Physically. She's been gone mentally for a while now.

My sister H says her main emotions are gratitude (for being able to spend time and care for mom these last cople of months) and relief. Also kind of scared. But she says she doesn't want or need anyone to fly up immediately or anything, she feels OK to handle it. I told her I'm not working and I can be there if she needs me.

Her daughter (my niece) and husband (my brother in law), are about to take a trip to Japan together. H. didn't want to go, I don't know if it was because she felt she had to stay and take care of mom or just really isn't interested in the culture shock experience....but now maybe she will. I'll tell her that I'm happy to go up and house and dog sit for her if she wants to go to Japan, if the timing works out.

I dont' know what else to say or think. I'm sure there is a small frightened child who is very sad, here inside myself somewhere...but adult me is good and done.

And I had a dream last night about winning a lotto scratch off. LOL. Kinda maybe. There should be some inheritance, but I am not a greedy vulture like that. So I don't know what that dream was about. Just brain doing brain things, I guess.

anyhoo... :/ thoughts and prayers. We all die, as Ms. Ernst so kindly put it.