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Death and such
Oct. 12th, 2021 04:53 pmOur friend Flavio died sometime the night of 9/30. It was unexpected and shocking. Natural causes. Just passed in his sleep.
We went over to Flavio's house on Saturday to help find some clothes to send to the funeral home for his burial. I think his parents are doing the whole traditional open casket 'visitation', then a service, and then a grave-side send-off, too. He will be in his black vest with his 'steampunk cred' pins and medals & the lion buttons on it, and his custom-made tail coat with the metallic leopard emblems on the collar. We sent his cane collection and a couple of his best hats and cravats for them to choose from, too. And all his steampunk rings.
Going thru his stuff was wierd. It definitely makes me want to have a cleaner home and get organized so that I don't leave so much work for people to do. But for me throwing away things is throwing away memories/my brain doesn't work right....I want to be remembered, I want people to know what was interesting and important to me....at the same time I know it's rather futile and really doesn't matter in the larger picture. Like, this object that has a story and a history is just a clutter without the story and the only person who remembers the story is probably me. And everyone who knew me and cared about me will be gone soon enough, too. No one will know who I was or even say my name again in 40-50 years. It doesn't matter and still...I can't get rid of it.
I'm not at an age or in a place where I can really miss the person....such things still selfishly send me thinking of my own mortality. How do other people 'do' death? is there anyone who doesn't just get mopey and selfish when a peer passes? I dunno. I feel like I'm definitely doing this wrong.
We went over to Flavio's house on Saturday to help find some clothes to send to the funeral home for his burial. I think his parents are doing the whole traditional open casket 'visitation', then a service, and then a grave-side send-off, too. He will be in his black vest with his 'steampunk cred' pins and medals & the lion buttons on it, and his custom-made tail coat with the metallic leopard emblems on the collar. We sent his cane collection and a couple of his best hats and cravats for them to choose from, too. And all his steampunk rings.
Going thru his stuff was wierd. It definitely makes me want to have a cleaner home and get organized so that I don't leave so much work for people to do. But for me throwing away things is throwing away memories/my brain doesn't work right....I want to be remembered, I want people to know what was interesting and important to me....at the same time I know it's rather futile and really doesn't matter in the larger picture. Like, this object that has a story and a history is just a clutter without the story and the only person who remembers the story is probably me. And everyone who knew me and cared about me will be gone soon enough, too. No one will know who I was or even say my name again in 40-50 years. It doesn't matter and still...I can't get rid of it.
I'm not at an age or in a place where I can really miss the person....such things still selfishly send me thinking of my own mortality. How do other people 'do' death? is there anyone who doesn't just get mopey and selfish when a peer passes? I dunno. I feel like I'm definitely doing this wrong.
