Quora: What is the best way to mitigate the smear campaigns and flying monkeys of a narcissist?

What is the best way to mitigate the smear campaigns and flying monkeys of a narcissist? Please let it be more effective than “do nothing, people will eventually realize”.

*Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. If you are considering legal action against a narcissistic abuser, find a lawyer who specializes in 'high conflict' !*

If you have a way to show financial damages due to the smear campaign, you can always file a lawsuit for slander or libel. If you have written or recorded proof of a threat on your life, you can file a restraining order.

If you behave defensively or take offense when a friend or family member tells you what the narc is saying, unfortunately a lot of people will view that as ‘proof’ that the narc’s words are true.

The only effective method I’ve seen is to have an attorney or police officer confront the narcissist on your behalf. You can initiate a police report by speaking with an officer and giving them audio or video recordings, screen shots, emails, or any other media proof of threats or abusive behavior. Keep the police report number and copies of your documentation in a safe place. Update the police report every time there are new threats or episodes of violence.

They don’t respect you, they don’t care what you think or feel, and your responses feed their delusions of importance.

If someone they can’t manipulate or frighten tells them to knock it the F*** off, via restraining order or legal action, they will back off right quick.

If you don’t have time or money to fight the narc with police reports and lawyering up, unfortunately the next best thing is to ignore the smear campaign and let the narc get bored because they’re not getting a response out of you. If the ugly adult toddler pokes something with a stick and it doesn’t move, they’ll get bored and move along soon enough.

*Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. If you are considering legal action against a narcissistic abuser, find a lawyer who specializes in 'high conflict' !*

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Quora: What can I do to stop being narcissistic?

What can I do to stop being narcissistic? From what I know I have recently gone through a lot and I am being so rude and arrogant. When I’m not rude I’m anxious. I can’t seem to get over this narcissism cause it just keeps me from being depressed.pls

 

Hello, friend. It sounds like you are having a lot of anxiety and depression and you are upset with yourself for hurting other peoples’ feelings. The good news is: the fact that you care about other people means you’re likely NOT a narcissist!

I feel it’s important for you to consult a professional and get a diagnosis so that you can get the best help for whatever is the underlying cause of your feelings and behavior.

There are a lot of mental health conditions that can cause you to feel like you are out of control, behaving badly, or harming others. If you feel like you are having trouble regulating your own emotions and behavior, you may need to speak with a therapist, clergy person,counselor, or doctor. Psychologists can offer behavioral and mental health counseling, a Psychiatrist can do the same, but also prescribe medication if they feel it is appropriate.

If it helps in the short-term, please remember that you are always entitled to your own feelings, and that you can ALWAYS stop, take a breath, walk away, or spend a few moments with yourself BEFORE you say or do something that may harm a person you care about or yourself. If you feel that you are behaving impulsively, make a conscious decision to STOP, take a breath, and mentally count to 5 before you do or say anything else. Just taking an added step instead of being reactive may solve some of your interpersonal issues.

But, please do get some help for your depression and anxiety. Remember that you can’t help your feelings and they may feel overwhelming at times, but your behavior is your responsibility, even if you are suffering from a mental illness. Please take steps to care for your mental health so that you will be a better friend to yourself and a better person to others as well.

Take care & good luck!

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 Editing to add:  Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com.  They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.