evile

What should I do if my narcissistic baby father wants a second chance and wants to prove that he can change? He also wasn’t loyal but wants to show me that he can change and that he’s truly sorry for everything he’s done so should I trust him?

If this person has a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the answer is probably ‘no’

If this person has been abusive in the past, apologized, and then gone back to being abusive, the answer is probably ‘no’

If this person had one incident of poor behavior but was overall usually a kind and decent person, the answer may be ‘yes,’ provided that you are able to establish some ground rules, expectations, and see him making a consistent effort over time.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to work on yourself, learn how to establish and maintain boundaries. Decide in advance what you want from the situation and what behaviors you *will not tolerate* and stick to it.

For example, you may decide that what you want from the situation is for the child and the father to have a good relationship. If you keep that goal in mind 100% through every interaction with the father, you may be able to help that goal become a reality. You may decide that the father showing up at your home under the influence of drugs or alcohol is a 100% deal breaker. If you decide that something is a ‘deal breaker’ that means that the first time it happens, his relationship with the child is over. It can only happen once, and then you enforce the boundary. So make careful choices about deal breakers, and make sure that whatever you establish as a deal breaker is for the health and safety of yourself and your child.

Good luck. This isn’t going to be easy for anyone, but it is very admirable that you want to keep both parents in your child’s life. I hope it works out.

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