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Today's Gift:
Apr. 19th, 2012 01:18 pmToday's thought from Hazelden is:
. . . we first took to ourselves.
We may do something that we do not want our partner to know; perhaps something that puts us in a bad light. If we lie about it, what do we gain? Our secret may be safe, but we have put another brick in the wall that prevents us from having an open intimate relationship. Our white lie does not protect our relationship, it damages it. By chipping away at our self-respect, we also damage our relationship to ourselves. Before long we become suspicious of others, believing that they also are not as they say, or that they are manipulating us.
By this process we project the infection in our soul onto our partner. If we believe he or she is manipulating us, perhaps we need to face our own manipulation. Our partner may have defects, but to help our relationship grow, we first look to the only one we can change, and that is ourselves.
Think about your honesty with your partner. Can you improve your relationship by clearing up a misleading message you have given?
. . . we first took to ourselves.
We may do something that we do not want our partner to know; perhaps something that puts us in a bad light. If we lie about it, what do we gain? Our secret may be safe, but we have put another brick in the wall that prevents us from having an open intimate relationship. Our white lie does not protect our relationship, it damages it. By chipping away at our self-respect, we also damage our relationship to ourselves. Before long we become suspicious of others, believing that they also are not as they say, or that they are manipulating us.
By this process we project the infection in our soul onto our partner. If we believe he or she is manipulating us, perhaps we need to face our own manipulation. Our partner may have defects, but to help our relationship grow, we first look to the only one we can change, and that is ourselves.
Think about your honesty with your partner. Can you improve your relationship by clearing up a misleading message you have given?
You are reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum
The More We Find in Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum. © 1992 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.
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