Breaking the Drama Triangle

http://www.martialdevelopment.com/blog/breaking-the-drama-triangle/

Breaking The Drama Triangle

Tags: bullying, Conflict Resolution, Relationships



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The drama triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interaction, created by psychotherapist Stephen Karpman.
Each point on the triangle represents a common and ineffective response
to conflict, one more likely to prolong disharmony than to end it.

The Drama Triangle

Participants in a drama triangle create misery for themselves and
others. By applying the physical principles of martial arts to the
psychological realm, you can transform this lose-lose situation and
create a more positive outcome for everyone.

Each player in this particular mind game begins by assuming one of three archetypical roles: Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor.

• Victims are helpless and hopeless. They deny
  responsibility for their negative circumstances, and deny possession of
  the power to change them.
• Rescuers are constantly applying short-term repairs to a Victim’s problems, while neglecting their own needs.
• Persecutors blame the Victims and criticize the
  enabling behavior of Rescuers, without providing guidance, assistance or
  a solution to the underlying problem.

Players sometimes alternate roles during the course of a game. For
example, a Rescuer pushed too far by a Persecutor will switch to the
role of Victim or counter-Persecutor.

Similar to the cycles of Five Element theory,
each corner of the drama triangle supports and moderates the other two.
Victims depend on a savior, Rescuers yearn for a basket case and
Persecutors need a scapegoat.

While a healthy person will perform in each of these roles
occasionally, pathological role-players actively avoid leaving the
familiar and comfortable environment of the game. Thus, if no recent
misfortune has befallen them or their loved ones, they will often create
one. Victims suffer a series of “accidents” and Rescuers engage in
noble self-sacrifice, while Persecutors are just “keeping it real“.

In each case, the drama triangle is an instrument of destruction.

Avoid the Corners

The emotional co-dependence exhibited by the three roles of the drama
triangle has a physical analogue in martial arts practice. In both
cases, the solution is simply to refuse support to your attacker, forcing them to choose between retreat and collapse.

The strategy can be summarized as follows:

1. Move into the center. Resist the temptation to play
   an exaggerated and complementary role to a Victim, Rescuer or
   Persecutor. You do not want to stabilize an unpleasant situation.
   Instead, find and hold the center position, thereby marginalizing your
   adversary and eliminating their power base.
   
   The center of the drama triangle contains elements of each corner. It is
   a combination of sensitivity, compassion, and responsibility.
2. Refuse to accept your opponent’s force. Do not struggle with them, or yield to them; instead, allow your opponent to move into an indefensible position.
   
   If you have successfully taken the center, your adversary will halt their attacks, rather than risk unmasking themselves and exposing the game.

Although the drama triangle is a form of passive aggression, you may
nevertheless object to casting a loved one as your opponent. Instead,
take their bad habits and unskillful means as your enemy, and destroy
them with awareness and enlightened action.