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but this is too brilliant NOT to share.
"How to keep someone with you forever"
Could have been written by either of my SIL's...seriously. Bleh.
What I guess a lot of people don't 'get' about all this is that these techniques may be used by organized religions, cults, or evil employers in a systematic, deliberate manner, but when it's a one-on-one abuse situation, the abuser is (in my experience) not that calculating, organized, systematic, or deliberate. They usually have no idea that they are becoming more chaotic, abusive, and insane as time goes on, that their narcissistic demands are growing more difficult and childish by the day, that they are creating ever more, deeper, and worse drama as time goes on... They really don't have much of a clue as to how manipulative and awful they are. All they know is that they are in pain, they are unhappy, they need *something* and they aren't getting it. And it's all [victim or victims'] fault.
It just so happens that these techniques end up being the most 'tried and true' for getting what you want from your victims. And, generally, the more they love you and the more empathetic they are, the better these techniques work. Because they hate to see you suffering and in pain, so they will do whatever it takes to make you happy. And the more sleep-deprived, upset, confused, and junk-fooded up they are, the easier it is to get them to do whatever you tell them to do.
And, yes, I absolutely recognize in myself the tendency for manipulative behavior, narcissism, and drama-mongering as a distraction from unhappiness, boredom, or other situations I have no control over. I fight my own abusive narcissist drama-llama tendencies every day, to greater or lesser degree of success.
"How to keep someone with you forever"
Could have been written by either of my SIL's...seriously. Bleh.
What I guess a lot of people don't 'get' about all this is that these techniques may be used by organized religions, cults, or evil employers in a systematic, deliberate manner, but when it's a one-on-one abuse situation, the abuser is (in my experience) not that calculating, organized, systematic, or deliberate. They usually have no idea that they are becoming more chaotic, abusive, and insane as time goes on, that their narcissistic demands are growing more difficult and childish by the day, that they are creating ever more, deeper, and worse drama as time goes on... They really don't have much of a clue as to how manipulative and awful they are. All they know is that they are in pain, they are unhappy, they need *something* and they aren't getting it. And it's all [victim or victims'] fault.
It just so happens that these techniques end up being the most 'tried and true' for getting what you want from your victims. And, generally, the more they love you and the more empathetic they are, the better these techniques work. Because they hate to see you suffering and in pain, so they will do whatever it takes to make you happy. And the more sleep-deprived, upset, confused, and junk-fooded up they are, the easier it is to get them to do whatever you tell them to do.
And, yes, I absolutely recognize in myself the tendency for manipulative behavior, narcissism, and drama-mongering as a distraction from unhappiness, boredom, or other situations I have no control over. I fight my own abusive narcissist drama-llama tendencies every day, to greater or lesser degree of success.
