evile

Aug. 29, 2005

evile: hey :) how was the 2nd weekend of faire?
SkyeDS: better than the first
SkyeDS: how was yours?
evile: I'm glad.
Mine was good. Laid back.
SkyeDS: they're talking about a better site next year, I'm hoping
they extend to discussions of a better time too.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I suppose that rationally it is silly to want to look for
another job just because he yelled at me, as in directed at me, not
at something else, because his memory is faulty - and he'd rather
yell at me and say it was my memory at fault.
evile: *nod* that's hurtful.
SkyeDS: when I write down instructions in my daily .txt file the
instant I get them, every single day.
SkyeDS: word for word, and I repeat them back to him.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I mean, I've been here more than a year and a half and this
is the first time this has happened to this degree.
SkyeDS: but it makes me VERY angry.
SkyeDS: and I've told him that being yelled at makes me very angry.
SkyeDS: I have been very tolerant of his losing shit and hollaring at
me to find it, and other such related foibles. But this is the first
time he has directly shifted responsibility for his mistake to me.
evile: that sucks.
SkyeDS: and for some reason my gut reaction is, oh no, homey don't
play that, that's a deal breaker.
SkyeDS: I understand that tolerance like most streets is two ways,
and that he is very tolerant of a lot of my failings too.
SkyeDS: but still.
evile: Probably time to restate that boundary. "I'm sorry you're
frustrated and angry, but I don't respond well to being yelled at.
What can we do to solve this problem together?"
SkyeDS: you're absolutely right.
SkyeDS: and I don't have the balls.
SkyeDS: I will have to find them somewhere somehow.
evile: *nod* It's hard. I know.
SkyeDS: I tried once to remind him of what actually was said and he
yelled at me again so I completely retreated.
SkyeDS: even if I haven't got a snowflake's chance in hell of getting
him to admit that he remembers wrong
SkyeDS: he doesn't need to be yelling at me.
SkyeDS: it's bad enough that he's mad because I won't back down, and
I'm mad because he won't either. Yelling just makes it bad enough to
make me want to walk on the spot.
evile: *nod* remove focus from 'who's right' to 'this isn't a
productive way to traet one another and let's work on doing better in
the future'
SkyeDS: maybe, "maybe we ought to agree to disagree on who isn't
remembering correctly. But the yelling is at issue."
evile: default is 'boss is always right' anyway...so it's rather
pointless to fuss and get upset about that fact.
SkyeDS: well, if he's going to make a habit out of this and fall back
on I'm b oss I'm right he can find another lackey
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and he's been an attorney long enough to know that legal
admins are not just girls who work in law offices
SkyeDS: he won't find another legal professional in this town with
certification and a bachelor's who will work for 12 an hour
evile: yup
SkyeDS: because for that little, most of us can just as easily work
as receptionists through temp agencies and not put in 20+ an hour
effort
SkyeDS: I was thinking last week that if I had a job at Dell, it
would simplify life somewhat.
evile: yeah....
SkyeDS: I thought about it, discussed it with sineater and then dismissed
it out of my head, right up until he was yelling at me the first
thing through the door this morning.
evile: yeah...that's not a good way to start the work week.
SkyeDS: oh well - I still don't know how CRW went, I shall poke my
nose into that as a distractin
evile: sounds like it went off pretty well, actually.
SkyeDS: that's good, I was hoping it was. These kids are so all or
nothing that if it hadn't most of them would have thrown a fit and
said no more CRW ever WAAH
evile: yeah. I'm glad it turned out OK.
evile: The hot sauce festival was good; got there right after they
opened, the lines weren't bad at all. They got bad by teh time we
left, around 1:30 or so.
SkyeDS: I do need to find out who's running it next year so I can
submit my list of park suggestions
SkyeDS: we ate at PFChang's in Dallas last night. Their sauces have
been superlative every time I've been (all of twice I admit)
evile: I hear good things about PFChangs, but I've not been yet.
SkyeDS: I would recommend it to you.
SkyeDS: I still haven't visited T&S yet, that's still on my list.
evile: *nod* I'll have to check it out. There's one up at the
Arboretum.
SkyeDS: so AJ finally got his shot at CRW.
evile: *nod*
evile: My boss occasionally comes through; [Aunt L]'s former AA & friend
died on Sunday,and the funeral is Tuesday. Boss is letting me flex
my time & work extra today so I can leave tomorrow early to look
after Ben.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: it's hard to know what to do...but knowing Ben will have
company at home after school will hopefully take some of the load off
her mind, so she can be there for her friend's husband & family.
evile: he's practically an adult, and I know he can look out for
himself, but [Aunt L] worries.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: he gets annoyed, so I'm always pointing out that I'm 35 and
she still worries like that about me, sometimes, too.
evile: his mom was excessively permissive (but really uncaring) and I
think he is sometimes ambivalent about living with people who not
only care about him a great deal but also enforce house rules.
SkyeDS: nods. I can see that.
evile: He does better when the rules are not only consistent, but
also have a logical purpose. Doesn't do so well with 'because it's
done that way' or 'because I said so'
SkyeDS: I didn't either at that age and I surmise you didn't either
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: intelligent minds want to know (why)
evile: exactly. Ben has major authority issues...I can't believe he'd
considered joining the military, even for a second!
SkyeDS: he did?
evile: yes. I just about fell over when he told me that.
SkyeDS: sineater said that RP showed K [brother A]'s psych report
SkyeDS: which I assume is part of his medical records?
evile: yup
SkyeDS: major violation of state and federal law there
evile: also called [Uncle B], her mom, and a bunch of other people and read
exerpts aloud.
evile: Now [brother A] is fussing that MOM violated his privacy..when [rubber pig]
is the one who gave it to her.
SkyeDS: that's what I was afraid of
SkyeDS: the state of texas is insane when it comes to privacy
SkyeDS: and the feds are worse
SkyeDS: and he might have an avenue there if it occurs to him
SkyeDS: but he can't go down that avenue without hitting [rubber pig]
collaterally
evile: *shrug* damage is done. CPS wouldn't give Mom custody of that
baby if she was the last adult on earth. That's all the pig wanted to
accomplish, the rest (alienating [brother A] from family, hurting our
feelings with hideous accucations of abuse) is just icing on the cake.
SkyeDS: nevermind that to my understanding, K doesn't want the
baby?
SkyeDS: and would not be in line to have the baby unless [brother A] were
out of the picture, either dead or rights terminated?
evile: Mom does want the baby, actually...
SkyeDS: oh.....
SkyeDS: that does complicate things a wee doesn't it....
evile: she loves all the kids, but realistically understands the baby
is the only one that is, or could be 'ours' under any circumstances.
SkyeDS: is G in agreement at being a parent again at this stage in
his life...?
evile: *shrug* I really haven't wanted to talk about it...it just
hurts me too much. I know that is cowardly and cold, but there it is.
evile: I have never seen it, I dont' wnat to see it, I wont' even
look at pictures. I don't wanna think about it.
SkyeDS: I don't mean to make worse, I'm sorry
SkyeDS: if you were cold you wouldn't be hurting
evile: I'm sorry too. I know you didn't ask out of any malicious
intent.
SkyeDS: I will just process this new information and let it
percolate. It certainly adds wrinkles and complications.
evile: *shrug* all pretty much moot. Family is 'done' with [brother A]. Mom
is done since he delivered the 'you can't see my kids ever again'
ultimatum to Mom...I've BEEN done. Nothing we can do, no reason to
keep throwing energy into that black hole.
SkyeDS: that makes no sense, she saw them, had them in unsupervised
custody, weekend before this last.
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: I think the only pertinent t hing I have to say at this point
is K better get a lawyer. A good one.
evile: *nod* [Aunt L] has found one. I think she is alot more realistic
about things than Mom.
SkyeDS: that's a relief.
evile: The Pig is always raving and carrying on about hiring lawyers
& suing everyone for every little goddamned thing, and she never
has...so I think it's pretty empty threat from her. But if the state
of TX thought my mom was doing criminal stuff, it would be out of Pig
and [brother A]'s hands.
SkyeDS: exactly.
SkyeDS: and, I know from experience that the State Board and the Feds
can be worse than criminal issues
SkyeDS: they're like the IRS, administrative powers means that you
have all the cons of actual criminal litigation but none of the pros
SkyeDS: ie, you literally are guilty until proven innocent
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and they can throw shit at you, and you can't rebut it
evile: well, they pull questions like 'when did you stop beating your
wife?'...no matter what you answer, you're fucked
SkyeDS: precisely
SkyeDS: and they LOVE to field witnesses like [rubber pig]
SkyeDS: against whom t hey do not let you defend yourself
SkyeDS: [rubber pig] is the State of TX wet dream
evile: sick/sad.
SkyeDS: I would like not to know what I know, given this situation
SkyeDS: in terms of the new can of worms that the disclosure of PHI
(private health info)
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I don't like knowing what K might be in for, and I can't
do anything to stop it
evile: Mom had it, so I read it, too. It was sucky.
SkyeDS: and she signed the car over anyway huh
evile: yup
SkyeDS: and they wouldn't bring her back to town
evile: ts called unconditional love...what parents are supposed to
have for their kids, or something like that.
SkyeDS: rofl right
SkyeDS: unconditional for the boys. not for the girls. just an
observation.
evile: *shrug* no sense in allowing my own existence to become
poisoned. Past is over and done. I'm a good person (in spite of or
because of) and that's what counts.
SkyeDS: might as well change your middle name to Kassandra (of Troy)
evile: *shrug* not letting it poison my life.
SkyeDS: although I guess when you boil it down "I tried to tell
you..." is just another form of "I told you so"
evile: I never say that.
evile: there's no point in being right, or being acknowledged as
being right. People I love are hurting, and that sucks, and being
right is just not important in the face of that.
evile: I'd give anything to have been wrong, and for my brother to
have found a loving, sane relationship.
SkyeDS: whether or not you vocalize it, it remains fact
SkyeDS: people remember that it's fact
SkyeDS: and some of them hold it against you
evile: easier to be mad at me than the people who caused the problem.
whatever. I'm not letting it poison my life.
evile: [rubber pig]'s mom told my mom that she's gotten the 'you'll never
see my children again' ultimatum many times, and she always gets to
see them again, eventually. So mom isn't too worried. And the kids
are all she really cares about at this point.
SkyeDS: I need to find the line for the eyecandy and get in it
(reading your bus post)
SkyeDS: non sequitur, I'm s orry
evile: heehee. That was a fun afternoon. Makes me tempted to stay
late and miss the flyer more often
SkyeDS: if there were a bus that ran to downtown from any point
between the office and the ranch I'd take it
SkyeDS: by that I mean, Round Rock, Taylor, Hutto, etc
evile: I think there's a park & ride in RR. Maybe one in Leander as
well.
SkyeDS: I need my own helicopter to commute with. ;)
evile: I would never cheat on Sweetie, but that doesn't mean I can't
look & fantasize. :)
SkyeDS: who cares where you get the appetite as long as you eat at
home
evile: *nod* And Sweetie & I girl-watch together a lot :)
SkyeDS: sineater and I used to watch adult fare together
SkyeDS: my tastes are a lot more exotic than his though
SkyeDS: life is easier if you join them, maybe even exceed them, t
han make it a deal breaker to try and beat them (at porn, flirting,
stuff some women get in a wad about)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: when Jason and Grayson came to visit over New Year's, they
found my adult collection, thought it was sineater's
SkyeDS: and when I came in they were trying to hide it because they
didn't want to get him in trouble
SkyeDS: I shrugged and said, that isn't his, it's mine, a nd walked
out
evile: heehee.
SkyeDS: what people think they know about my sex life isn't anywhere
near being true, and in that aspect my life is completely boring
SkyeDS: and what people don't know that IS true would freak people
out to the point of not speaking ot me again I'm afraid
evile: heh.
evile: it's nobody's business but the people involved...and if people
don't have anything better to do than speculate on your sexual
activities, that definitely means they need to get more of their
own :P
SkyeDS: I don't think some people would understand that just because
some things seem to flip my switch to read about or watch, doesn't
mean I would do them myself
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: is about time they let you off your leash and out of your
cage?
evile: No such luck. I'm staying until 4:30 today so I can leave
early tomorrow.
SkyeDS: ah
evile: it's not so bad, it only seems like the extra 1/2 hour takes
forever. I have a lot of crap to do at home before gal's nite.
SkyeDS: nodnods
evile: we found a place last week where you can do crafts on their
site, ceramics, beads, etc. We are talking about maybe doing that
next Monday, assuming they're not closed for labor day.
SkyeDS: I remember seeing that, sounds like fun
evile: yup. a lot less hassle than sponsoring a craft night at home.
evile: well, I think I'll take my paperwork on the rounds.
evile: *hugs* have a good evening :)
SkyeDS: hugs :)

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Aug. 29th, 2005

Aug. 29th, 2005

3468Lyrics: Live, "All Over You"

3469monica belluci

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