evile: yay for phone duty 2 days in a row. I slept in today, so I
will leave at 4, anyway,but that extra hour of sleep was nice.
SkyeDS: I bet!
evile: how are you? Did you get caught up on sleep yet?
SkyeDS: I begin to think they may be right that you never really get
caught up, once it's gone, it's gone
SkyeDS: I'm trying this new 9x4, 4 hour Friday schedule
SkyeDS: I would only have been working a half day friday anyway, and
I took that off so I can do taxes and make the trailride by noonish
evile: cool :)
evile: I'm taking the 14th off, to hang with [sister H] if she feels like
it.
evile: and I decided to go to my 10 yr college reunion, but mostly
only since it's the same weekend as [sister H]'s bday
SkyeDS: nods. work = what I do between going places, far as I'm
concerned
evile: *nod* yup. me too.
evile: I wish I knew any nice guys to introduce Onyxlynxx to...
SkyeDS: man that is hard
SkyeDS: I didn't even know what to say
evile: me neither....she called around 5 to cancel on Bitches Night
because he had miraculously made time for her early in the evening,
and she was almost crying. I felt awful...
SkyeDS: she didn't need that so close on t he heels of M and his NRE
evile: no.
evile: If I knew for sure that Jaime and Kathleen were quits, I'd
introduce her to Jaime.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: Or if I knew that Jaime & Kathleen had worked things out and
were going to be OK with trying poly...but going poly as a solution
for a faulty marriage just ends up hurting everyone.
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: that's what Sineater tried to tell Chrisloy
SkyeDS: she decided that he was just parroting me, and that I simply
didn't want him being friends with her
evile: that's sad.
SkyeDS: like I give a damn about who he's friends with
evile: unless of course those friends are saying ugly nasty things
about you behind your back....
SkyeDS: I still do n't care
SkyeDS: I had to learn to have a thick skin about that LONG ago
SkyeDS: because he made it quite clear that he didn't give a damn if
they did, and encouraged it, and for that matter started it, himself
evile: hm.
SkyeDS: tis true that I will veto anyone who talks shit about me,
where sex is concerned
SkyeDS: but that isn't t he same thing
SkyeDS: when we originally agreed to have a polyfi marriage, it was
for his sake, not mine
SkyeDS: we assumed with his history of rampant infidelity it would be
easier on my blood pressure
SkyeDS: he didn't think his short fat dumpy ugly little wife was
going to find multiple partners first
SkyeDS: anyway, he was running around with all these people who were
talking smack, in front of my face and behind my back, and my
protests fell on deaf ears, so I did some soulsearching and said
guess what
SkyeDS: I can't control what you do
SkyeDS: but I don't have to hang around and let you do it
SkyeDS: so the deal is, since you don't seem to hold th e same notion
I do about marriage
SkyeDS: these people do not come in my house
SkyeDS: and I'm going to go my own way, and t hat's what I did
SkyeDS: and that's worked quite nicely in terms of dealing with the
people in his life who insist on running me down
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: early in our marriage I would protest l oudly when his
friends ran me down, and he told me in no uncertain terms he would
not let me "dictate" his friends to him
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: whole lot of people spout a whole lot of shit about us that
have no fucking clue how fucking off they are
evile: the experience from outside the marriage is quite different, I
guess than the POV from inside.
SkyeDS: I d on't pretend to know more about you and Sweetie than y ou do
SkyeDS: that would be fucking ridiculous
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: "she doesn't want me to have Sineater"
SkyeDS: right
SkyeDS: 1) he doesn't want you
SkyeDS: 2) your husband already said no, when you asked him
SkyeDS: your husband really isn't poly, he wants a 3some with a hot
bi babe and t hat's it.
SkyeDS: he's said no to every man she's ever asked for
evile: easier to be mad at someone besides her husband, I guess.
SkyeDS: everyone likes to be mad at me
SkyeDS: I'm used to it by now, believe me, my coping mechanisms have
been in place for years now and serve me quite well, so I don't
really care anymore
SkyeDS: despite the efforts of rejects to get my attention and make
me care
evile: *nod*
evile: you are definitely better off without all that drama in your
life.
SkyeDS: Kaleon was good for me, for 3 years, something I don't intend
to forget
SkyeDS: he taught me I don't need Sineater to be happy
SkyeDS: problem for him is, he taught me eventually I don't really
need a relationship at all to make me happy
evile: there ya go...
SkyeDS: "Skye is my enemy" = ego.
SkyeDS: I don't have enemies. Not worth my time.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I have a whole lot of people who don't like me for whatever
reason (I really don't care), who like to use me as a target, and who
are stuck on t hemselves enough to think I give a damn
evile: that's too bad.
SkyeDS: maybe Onyxlynxx will find someone on her own soon, someone
suitable
SkyeDS: and be a "primary" too, w hich I know she's wanted for a long
time
evile: I'm afraid that focusing on what one doesn't have does not
bring that lack into ones life...
SkyeDS: no, it usually makes it worse.
evile: I met Sweetie when I was having a wonderful summer with great
friends, cute boys, lots of fun stuff to do, and felt my life was
pretty well perfect as-is
SkyeDS: same way I met Sineater for that matter. had more men in my life
at that point to have fun with on whatever level than I could shake a
stick at, and didn't particularly want to settle down
evile: I need to take her to faire. That's always a good ego boost.
SkyeDS: lots of prettiness for the eye there yep
evile: *nod* yup. I saw Loa's photos from first weekend of
scarby...very fun. :)
evile: thewordnerd's decided after one big fun campout that he can do it
better than Savanni...I can't wait to see the post big fun crap storm
on the yahoo group. I thought thewordnerd was going to be the starter, but
he deleted his inflammatory post pretty quick after he made it.
SkyeDS: omg?
SkyeDS: doesn't matter, it might not be online but it will have gone
out to email
evile: yeah, i saw it because I'm set for individual emails.
evile: He whined because he got 'left'. But in fact Ladydreamtime and Rkentspeth
had planned between them that Ladydreamtime would take him out, and R
would bring him home.
evile: and then he whined in a private LJ post that he felt lik ehe
didn't make any 'connections' at big fun (translation: didn't get
laid)
SkyeDS: how does any of that relate to how well it was run
evile: He was in cabin 4, sitting on a mattress while the rest of us
were playing on the floor in front of him. I tried to get him
involved by asking Txdrew if he could feel the fire cupping stuff, and
thewordnerd came and did that, and hten went back to his observer spot.
There's only so much anyone can do, he's got to take some initiative
and join in if he wants to "make connections."
evile: Oh, he thinks the webpage wasn't updated soon enough, often
enough, and that savanni didn't keep everyone informed via the yahoo
group about stuff, bla bla. Whatever. He's grouchy because he didn't
get laid.
SkyeDS: funny how people get that way
evile: Nikiyoy called Jon on the phone, and he showed up and just joined
in right away and had a great time. He didn't know anyone, he knew
fewer people than thewordnerd did, but he didn't let that stop him
from 'making connections'
SkyeDS: actually, that sounds like Kaleon behavior (nolan's)
evile: it's just like..dude, nobody owes you ANYTHING. You get what
you put into stuff...if you just stand there silently and watch,
nobody is going to magically realize what a great person you are and
want to spend time with you...you have to get involved, you have to
put yourself out there.
SkyeDS: zactly
evile: Personally, I'd rather be rejected because people know who I
am and decide that's not who they want to be with, than rejected
because I match the wallpaper.
evile: yeah, it sucks to be rejected....but I'd rather take a chance
on people knowing me and liking me ANYWAY, than not knowing me at all
and not liking me because of that.
SkyeDS: nodnod
evile: Oh well. I hope this year's drama won't be that awful.
Everything seemed to go very well, even on time, mostly :)
SkyeDS: maybe i don't want to throw an event after all
SkyeDS: exp people get drama, I'd just get worse
evile: when you throw a party, most people are gracious enough to
accept whatever hospitality you provide and not complain afterwards,
but turn it into a paid event, or invite people who aren't really
your friends, and it starts to get ugly, it seems.
evile: ooh, nice scarby photos:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v636/Slyddur/Random/DSCF2607.jpg
evile: rengeek:
http://www.rensites.com/gallery/album369/Scarby_2005_1st_weekend_035
evile: Chrisloy/Titan & Sholo
http://www.rensites.com/gallery/album369/Scarby_2005_1st_weekend_026
evile: yup. Definitely need to get my grubby wenchy ass out to Scarby
evile: yet another captain Jack...too blurry to tell if he's cute
http://www.rensites.com/gallery/album369/Scarby_2005_1st_weekend_056
evile: Looks like time for me to make the rounds & get gone.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)
evile: *hugs*
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