evile

Dec. 7th, 2004

Dec. 7, 2004

1) Mom & stepdad here the 27th. In austin thru 31st. No idea if they
plan to stay at our house the whole time. Must get house presentable.
Sweetie may or may not be going to FL to visit family, AMD shut down 1
week around Xmastime.

Got up this a.m.--a bicycle in the entryway, and one in the living
room. Both Sweetie's? Plus he ordered a unicycle. Now, since the garage
and his work room and the bedroom are already full of shit, where are
all of these going to go? The living room? He did this with computers
the first few years--first saturday, hauling back tons of garbage
which he has never used as far as I know. Then with the cars--the
checker, the ghia, the blue trooper he won't sell and doesn't drive,
the vanagon, and his trooper/daily driver. He says the blue trooper
is unreliable, so that's why he keeps the blue one, which btw, he
promised to sell after the blue vanagan came home...over a year ago
now.

And now he's collecting bicycles. hu fucking zah.

I want new furniture, which I feel it would be unfair to choose
without his OK (but then again, did I choose any of the computer or
car or bicycle stuff all over this house? no?)

I want new flooring, which I also feel It would be unfair to pick out
without his input & cannot have installed without his help in moving
shit OUT of the rooms to be floored (or can I?)

I want the hedges trimmed & backyard masonry fixed, which I could do
without him, BUT...goddamnit, should I HAVE to make arrangements and
pay for it all myself, when he owns this fucking house too?

And of course I can't bring any of this up without him getting pissy,
telling me I'mmanipulating him, blal bla blalblalallalallal! This
rant was inspired by:

-------------------------
Onyxlynxx (onyxlynxx) wrote,
@ 2004-12-06 18:30:00

Current mood: okay
Current music: All That We Let In by The Indigo Girls

I woke up this morning feeling pretty overwhelmed. I had been having
a dream where my fence was falling down. I took the day off from work
to deal with it and then promptly forgot that was why I had stayed
home. At some point my roommate, who happened to be nikiyoy,
suggested that I should call Scott so that he could come home and fix
the fence.

It is pretty bad when my subconscious resorts to something that
obvious. I didn't need a book of dream interpretation to tell me what
was going on. I have always wanted to own a house but it has turned
out to be a lot more trouble than I ever could have imagined. I also
never thought that I would have to be handling everything by myself.
There is so much to fix that I don't even know where to start. The
shed outside needs to be painted before it rots to the ground. I need
to winterize the pond and cover the dog trails with gravel. A couple
of weeks ago, the tile in my bar cracked. I need to fix that. At some
point, the door bell quit working. I figured out how to turn the
furnace on and I didn't die. Then I kept thinking that I was smelling
gas so I turned it back off until I could have someone come look at
it. Yes, I understand that I was probably just being paranoid but I
wanted to be sure. Then as I was doing dishes this morning I heard
the distinctive plunk, plunk under the sink that meant that I had a
leak. Usually, I am listening to music so the house had never been
quiet enough to hear it. A leak is something that can cause serious
damage so it went to the top of the repair list after the furnace.

I grabbed my stuff and hurried out the door to work because I was
already late. When I got to work, I realized that I had left my
wallet at home. That meant that I had been driving with an expired
inspection sticker, no driver's license and a burned out reverse
light. Greatjust great. The only way I would have been a bigger cop
magnet is if there had been donuts taped to my car.

I took the first couple of calls and I could tell it was not going to
be a good day. I was anxious enough about all the other crap in my
life that I was having a hard time focusing. The finally straw was
some jerk from a school calling to say that they had made the report
on the wrong child. A little boy had been hit on his face and had a
bruise. Say this child's name was John Doe. They had called in the
report on John Smith and his mother. They didn't even realize what
had happened until John Smith's mother called the school. They didn't
even seem to care that it meant that John Doe had been being smacked
around for an extra week. What an idiot. It was time to take my break
so I thought I would make a list and start trying to get control back
of my life. I decided to start with the potentially most dangerous
first. I called Strand Brothers and they said that they could send
someone out between 4:00 PM and 7:00 PM.

At this time it was 11:00, in between my morning calls and everything
else, I decided that I had enough work for the day. I went to see a
supervisor so that I could leave. Even though I was too distracted to
work, I didn't really want to spend lots of time in a house with a
possible gas leak so I decided to run some errands. I took my glasses
back to get softer nose rests. Then I took my car and dropped it off
to get it inspected. I figured that it would fail because of the
break light but that then I would have the receipt showing that I
tried to get it inspected. That keeps you from getting a ticket for
like a week while you try to get it fixed. I walked down Guadalupe in
the rain. It suited my mood. I tried to imagine all the anxiety
washing off of me and down the storm drains with all the other toxic
stuff. I walked from the Groovy Lube at about 30th down to Toy Joy
and back. By the time I got back, I was feeling some better. I was at
least feeling less freaked out and anxious about all the stuff I
needed to do. Then I got the bill for the car. I don't know what
happened but it actually passed inspection. I can't tell if they
fixed the brake light or just didn't notice that it was out or what
but it was a nice surprise.

I went home. I didn't smell any gas with the line turned off. That
seemed to be a good sign. I thought I would catch up on all the
cleaning that I had been avoiding while I was waiting for the repair
man. I even called Mom so that she could come hang out while I
cleaned. She has been feeling a little ignored and this was a good
way for me to spend time with her and still get some things done that
I needed to accomplish like dishes, laundry and dusting. We talked
for a couple of hours and I got my house almost clean again.

The repair man finally showed up. I explained to him what was going
on. I kind of expected him to laugh at me. See the silly hysterical
female. I left him alone so he could examine the unit. It took him
about fifteen minutes and then he came to find me. There was not a
leak. The gas flex line was loose. It could have indeed leaked enough
gas to have ignited if I hadn't turned it off at the valve. It is all
fixed now. I am really glad that I listened to my intuition and
turned it off. I am even gladder that I listened to Meg's concern and
called someone today instead of waiting.

I feel a lot more grounded. Cleaning my house does that for me. I am
sure that part of it is holding all of my rocks. Another part is
restoring the sense of order to my space. I am trying to learn to be
less OCD about how I keep my house but I am truly much happier when
everything is straight. I guess I am still trying that perfect
balance between the house being neat enough for me and maintaining it
not being so time consuming that I resent it.

-----------------------------------------
beli1738
2004-12-06 18:17 (link)
I'm sorry that you had such a stressful day and glad that it seemed
to get better as it continued on. Thank goodness you did get the gas
looked at so quickly. It may have made you feel a little silly about
having to call initially, but sometimes it's better to leave things
to an expert especially when it's something with such potential for
danger.

I know having a house can be a major stress and burden, and it's got
to be hard handling all that on your own. It's hard too when there
are several things that need doing, and it all seems overwhelming --
especially when you consider the stressfulness of your job. You did a
great job of handling it one at a time though and managing it into
better proportions. *HUG*

In other news, if you're still interested, we do have an extra full
size mattress and box springs available. My mom badgered my aunt
about it, and she decided she didn't want them after all, so you have
dibs on them. I talked my mom into agreeing that my aunt is not
allowed to change her mind.

onyxlynxx
2004-12-06 20:18
I am definitely still interested in the bed. That will keep me from
putting one more thing on my credit card. I would really like to have
a functional guest room so I probably would have bought a mattress.

:(
bramblekite
2004-12-07 08:35 (link)
I guess there was no dinner/tennis with the gals last night, then? In
a way, I'm sorry but then selfishly since I wasn't there anyway, I'm
kinda glad I didn't miss anything good.

*hugs* I am glad your house didn't blow up. You're right, home
ownership is very stressful sometimes, there is always stuff that
needs done. On the plus side for you, at least everything in the
house is yours. So cleaning becomes easier, since you're not cleaning
around another person's stuff/clutter/projects-in-progress/collection
du jour (it was computer stuff the first years, then it was cars, now
it's bicycles).

I'm starting to feel like if I'm doing everything and paying for most
of it, I wish I didn't have the other person and their crap in my way
so I could do more...

Dec. 7, 2004

evile: hey :) Thanks for the offer. Do you think I should try &walk
up to brack first, see if their ER is too busy or icky, then come
pester you?
SkyeDS: which place are you most comfortable with?
evile: I've never been to either one, myself, but Bob has been to St.
Davids, and I had a friend go to Brack & they fucked up her
knee...BUT, this is a pretty basic ear infection, I think nobody can
misdiagnose or mess it up...
SkyeDS: never been to Brack, no experience there. Been in St.
David's once, for three days, would rather have died at home.
SkyeDS: However, for an ear infection where you're not staying
overnight...
SkyeDS: and I would *hope* that my experience at SD was the rare
exception, not the rule.
evile: I had my ovary out at St. DAvids, and it was fine. But I think
I'll try walking to Brackenridge first, anf it's too crowded, or
full of hobos, I'll run ove to you :)
SkyeDS: whatever suits you, so long as you get well :)
evile: thanks :) I'm slow over here, phone duty. No wackos so far.
evile: A woman calling on behalf of her husband/boyfriend/brother
told me she WAS the gentleman in question, but that she is 'bisexual'
and 'going through changes' LOL!
SkyeDS: rofl!!!
evile: we really aren't supposed to give info to anyone but the
CLaimants themselves, but s/he wanted us to fax documents to a TWC
office for him/her, so I wasn't actually giving any info directly to
the person..
evile: and I'm assuming the tWC office at the other end will verify
the persons ID before they give him/her the docs.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: she was pretty entertaining, I'll give her that.
SkyeDS: things that make me laugh are good. but then, I'm easily
amused.
SkyeDS: sounds like that cocktail you made yourself was pretty
effective.
evile: well, in part, since I'm draining, but it's not getting me
well
SkyeDS: I thought maybe sineater has the same thing you do, but he says
it isn't in his ears.
evile: as the vet told us when the baby kitty had her puncture
wound, once it starts draining, there's not much else to do but keep
it clean.
evile: Lauras multi-effect Plague.
evile: Im still going to blame it on her sick rugrats, even though
neither sineater nor I had th e same symptoms as the kids.
SkyeDS: I always thought that the reason I had a lack of desire to
have kids of my own was my irrational fear of the pain of childbirth
SkyeDS: but, I know from experience now that they can cut on you down
there without you feeling it, and without putting you all the way
under. So I guess it isn't fear anymore, I don't know what it is.
evile: *shrug* you haven't followed much of the 'woman life script'
so why start now? :P
SkyeDS: it's "unnatural" not to want to make babies.
evile: only if you are following the script.
SkyeDS: point made tho, my entire existence or almost all of it,
is "unnatural".
evile: it's probably 'unnatural' to have more htan one man, to have
sex with women, to want your own career, etc etc., depending on who
you listen to.
evile: hell, some people believe it's unnatural for women to wear
pants.
SkyeDS: people are so funny. not as entertaining to watch as Arthur,
but funny.
evile: They're entitled to their beliefs, and welcome to live as they
believe, but have no right to tell anyone else how to live.
SkyeDS: last night it rained, so I gave a tack polishing lesson in
the house.
evile: Sounds like fun....not.
SkyeDS: there wasn't room for everyone in the tiled kitchen floor, so
I spread one of those thick plastic like table clothes in the den,
covered it with paper, and we did it in the middle of the den floor
SkyeDS: while watching Black Beauty.
SkyeDS: as usual, had Justina not been there, it would have been
better
evile: Oh well.
evile: Black Beauty was such a great story. I cried all the way thru
SkyeDS: but bottom line, someone else polished my tack, and then paid
me. I can handle that.
SkyeDS: I can just imagine my mother's reaction to saddle soap and
oil in the middle of the den carpet (even with ample protection).
evile: hee!
SkyeDS: not a bad way to make $30. Sit in the floor in front of the
Christmas tree, watch a movie, while someone else polishes tack
(which I hate)
evile: yeah. Sort of the Tom Sawyer fence story :)
SkyeDS: I did that on purpose to Melissandra one holiday.
evile: I never did get your email yesterday, bTW. I think Yahoo is
being crappy again.
SkyeDS: I tried again this morning. I checked your addy again, and
put it in the To, the CC, and the BCC line, just in case.
SkyeDS: and don't rule out my isp being stupid-ass.
evile: bizarre. I am pretty sure yahoo woudln't just delete it, but
would put it in the 'bulk' folder if it thought you were spam..
evile: and I've checked there, too.
SkyeDS: I wonder, if I successfully set up filters, if I could set up
a filter on an already existing entry.
evile: *nod* when you go back and edit, it's in the same box
as 'music' mood, etc.
SkyeDS: I might try playing around with that when Hugh goes to lunch
(so I will be uninterrupted)
SkyeDS: wish I knew where everyone was getting that Room quizzy
evile: There should be a link at the top or bottom, I thought...
SkyeDS: Jinx doesn't list it at all, and I can't find your entry
where I know there's a link
evile: oops, I deleted it because It was stupid. Hang on...
SkyeDS: ok, then I'm not defective. that's always good to know :)
evile: http://www.jamesgang.com/jamesgang/room/roommind.html
SkyeDS: grazie
evile: There was a similar thing we did back in the bookstop days,
only not online. Think of water, describe it with 3 adjectives, think
of a room, desribe it with 3 adjectives, and so on and so forth, and
each object symbolized something else & your adjectives were your
feelings about whatever (water=sex, so if you said 'ocean' and 'wild,
crazy, stormy' we know you're a kinky pervert)
SkyeDS: LOL
evile: In a way I liked that one better, because it was not
just 'forest' but how YOU interpret 'forest'
evile: (my water was in a glass, and had 3 really innocuous
adjectives, which got me teased worse than Ocean wouldhave....but I
can't remember the rest of the stuff)
SkyeDS: sometimes I have to go through quizzes more than once and
average my answers
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: particularly when I have to choose for example between black
and purple as favorite colors
SkyeDS: or in the room, I like rock, jazz and classical equally.
evile: *nod*
evile: I guess I just chose music in context with what I was looking
at out the window, what would 'go' best with my view or my mood on
seeing that view.
SkyeDS: nod
SkyeDS: I was equally torn between two window views too - blue sky,
and lush forest
evile: and if one were asking me what I saw out the window, without a
list o fchoices , I would be very literal and describe the view out
of my work room, which was not a choice :)
evile: and my music would be 80's music which is really more pop than
rock...
evile: and my clock would be the clock on the computer, which I often
make full-screen-sized when I'm working and need to keep track of the
time.
SkyeDS: I like old fashioned, ornate clocks, and clocks with pretty
stylistic Arabic numerals - I don't know what the font style is
actually called
evile: the trash can would be a grocery bag hung on the door. The box
of pictures was spot-on though :)
SkyeDS: doesn't make much sense that I'm not an oldfashioned person
but I love oldfashioned antique or antique like stuff, and ancient
history, the older the better
evile: Older stuff is better quality, as far as furniture, vintage
clothing, etc.
evile: Ancient history is more interesting, too.
SkyeDS: I was considering my tree, and every ornament on it is
oldfashioned.
SkyeDS: I still think, outside of the antebellum South, and the
writings of Taylor Caldwell, that US history = boring.
evile: definitely.
SkyeDS: my new title is "evil henchman"
evile: yay!
evile: I'll have name tags made up
SkyeDS: I asked H if he wanted me to start wearing a trench, a fedora
and carrying a violin case, he said no, he was thinking more medieval.
evile: heh.
evile: http://www.warehouse23.com/item.cgi?OWDDSP401M
evile: I had seen polo-style shirts with little 'evil genius'
and 'henchman' etc. on the place where the alligator or polo guy
usually go.
evile: and now I can't find them of course.
SkyeDS: aw, lol
SkyeDS: are you sure you feel up to walking to brack?
evile: yeah, it's only a couple of blocks.
SkyeDS: k
evile: I will try and call once I know what I'm going to do, but if
you don't hear from me or see me by 4, that will mean I am OK .
SkyeDS: k
evile: do you have your cell phone on you, or should I just call your
house and leave a message there?
SkyeDS: I'll be in the office
SkyeDS: phone in truck but I could get it, but it's long distance
(texarkana area code)
SkyeDS: 499-xxxx = office number
evile: Ok. thanks. I won't abuse it.
SkyeDS: was never in question :P
SkyeDS: that is our second line, so when it rings, we all know it's
either for me or it's a telemarketer
evile: while I was putting in your work #, my cell phone was kind
enough to let me know I'd missed a call...the thing hasn't rung ALL
morning!!
SkyeDS: hm
evile: dang contraption. More hassle than it's worth.
SkyeDS: I still haven't quite figured mine out all the way
evile: Aunt L only uses hers to call out. She turns it on, makes her
call, turns it off. Never checks voicemail or anything else.
SkyeDS: I started out that way
SkyeDS: and then Mom complains about not checking
evile: I think everyone knows to email me if it's really key that I
get it right away :)
SkyeDS: if I take the phone in at night, I'm not always going to
remember to take it back out in the am
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: so I leave it in the truck, where I am likely to need it most.
SkyeDS: and then there's "why does sineater or sonar0m answer" ... well,
I'm driving.
evile: heh.
evile: Yet another 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation
courtesy of good ol' mom.
evile: speaking of, I got a Xmas card from mine yesterday. Says
they're going to be 'in town' the "27th thru New years" and "let's
party"
SkyeDS: got a pretty popup card yesterday 2.
evile: I haven't even started to get my holiday cards out yet. Some
people are just too organized!
SkyeDS: if I'm going to start sending cards, I will have to start
asking for snail mailing addies.
evile: *nod* I have all the addresses I need, I think, just a matter
of getting adresses, cards, stamps, etc. all in one place.
SkyeDS: time for you to go get looked at.
evile: yup. I'll keep you posted!
evile: *hugs* Thanks so much for being there for me :)
SkyeDS: my pleasure
SkyeDS: you positive you want to walk to Brack?
evile: Yeah, that's no biggie.
SkyeDS: ok.
SkyeDS: call me here if Brack doesn't work out.
SkyeDS: pront.
SkyeDS: pronto.
evile: I've got your # so I will call :)
SkyeDS: mkay.