Is it really "PLOM" if you're upset B/C someone continues to kick you in the face after you're down?

[evile]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Self Pity

"Poor little ol' me." The PLOMS. How often do we succumb to this temptation? Usually it's an excuse for not doing what we know we should do, but do not want to do. Or it's a way to manipulate someone else into doing something for us which we should be doing ourselves. If we spend our time moaning and groaning about how unfairly life is treating us, we do not have much chance of discovering the plan which our Higher Power has for us, nor are we able to carry out God's will.

Trite as it may sound, the cure for self-pity is to think about those who are less fortunate and start counting our blessings. Taking some action, doing some small thing for someone else, perhaps a phone call -- these are constructive steps to take us off the "pity pot."

When we begin to feel sorry for ourselves, let's remember where we came from and what things were like before we found the program.

I don't need self-pity.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L. © 1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

Comments

[emmainfiniti.livejournal.com]

I think there is a distinction between pain and pity. Feeling and acknowledging pain and expressing it is healthy. Doing what you need to heal from pain is healthy, too.
I think the author is not addressing pain so much as pity. Pity is when you stop seeing pain for what it is (a fact of life; an opportunity for growth and compassion) and you start seeing it as a bigger message from the universe (punishment fro sin, unfair treatment from god, etc). Pity also encourages us do unhealthy things because you feel sorry for yourself or someone else.

For example, after a hypothetical breakup: Pity - I might as well eat the whole bucket of ice cream because no one will ever love me anyway, and i'll beat myself up tomorrow when I get on the scale for having no willpower. Pain - I am going to cry this out for a while, vent to my friends, and maybe take a break from dating while I re-evaluate what I want in a relationship.

Just my 2cents worth of thoughts.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this.

I don't really like the school of thought that seems to say "you have no right to feel what you feel, because other people have it lots worse than you"

I think I've internalized that message quite a bit over the years...it's really a struggle to allow myself to have feelings, and, yeah, to live in the healthy place where I'm sad or hurt or angry but I'm not going to do and say horrible things to myself because I'm feeling this way.

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

I've said this before, I just don't know if I've said it to you specifically (I remember saying it to emmainfiniti not too long ago), and I may not have said it with this exact wording before now --

No matter where you are in terms of having it bad, you can find someone else who has it worse than you do, and you can find someone else who doesn't have it as bad as you do. Neither of these negate your experience or your pain.

(And, right now, I'm processing some pain and trying to figure out what sort of anger, if any, I should bring to bear should anyone be so rude as to tell me to my face that they're upset that someone is planning on doing something really, really nice for me. Is that fucked, or what?)

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

that's pretty fucked. Now, if Person A was planning to rob person B and give you the thing they'd stolen, I could see why person B might not be happy for your happiness...otherwise, it's none of their business!

Why would someone react like that?? That's just...sad. *hugs* I hope it is just a misunderstanding and not someone being mean spirited and hateful. I think you are VERY deserving of good things and fun times!