evile

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I think the answer is for each person to decide for themselves. For some, it may be unquestioning loyalty. For others, it may be sacrifice of self for another's good. For some, God is Love, sure, but what happens when you don't believe in God?

If someone loves me, I like & need a lot of physical and verbal reassurances, quality time, emails just to say 'hey', listening to my thoughts and feelings and ideas, and supporting those ideas that are worth supporting and bringing the ones that are too far-fetched back to earth. I act like a jerk. I test peoples' limits. I think on some levels, I don't think I deserve to be loved so I act like a jerk to 'prove' I'm unlovable. I need to be called on my BS when I'm acting like an ass & reminded that is not who I really am.

Basically, I used to think that love was something that happened to other people. Now I am starting to believe that it's for me, too.

{edit} Here's another question: how do I show love to people I love? Truthfully, I'm having a hard time coming up with an answer that isn't selfish, self-serving, judgemental, or ultimately pathological in some way. I used to show it with gifts. But gifts have hidden strings even if no one acknowledges them. Giving people stuff, taking them places & paying their way...creates an imbalance after a while. Spending time? I still think that's a good one. Seems neither I nor anyone I know has any damn time anymore, these days, though.

Anyway...more thought needed. Love is a small, yet loaded word.

Is there validity to the "5 love languages"? Only if all parties involved speak the same language. And only if they have some healthy love in an early part of their life to show them what it's supposed to feel like. Otherwise it's always "love plus toxins" that feels right & good, like 'real love'
{/edit}

Anyway, reading other people's answers made me think of this song by King Missile:

Love is beautiful
Like birds that sing
Love is not ugly
Like rats
In a puddle of vomit

Love is beautiful
Like the sunshine
And the dancing wind
Love is not ugly
Like pus
And lice
And tobacco snot
Love is beautiful

Love is beautiful
Like all the little animals
In a forest full of green
That smells like pine
And wonder
Love is not invisible brain control

And pain
And malicious intent
And lying all the time
Although it can be all of these things
And more

Love is a many splendoured thing
It is not a shipload of slaughtered pigs
Rotting and festering
In the bleeding desert

Love is what love is
And love is not
What love is not