Quora: What would make someone with NPD become intimidated by you?
NPDs see everything and everyone as a potential tool or a potential threat.
Given these choices, it’s best to be seen as a threat. That means you are seen as intelligent, strong, well-connected, well-thought-of by your peers, coworkers, clients, etc. and you don’t put up with nonsense. You have good boundaries and you aren’t afraid to allow consequences to those who do wrong.
Narcissists have a very keen perception of people; they are quick to identify weaknesses and vulnerabilities. They are also very quick to identify people who will not be easy victims and steer away from those people. One of the most ‘interesting’ family holidays I ever experienced was when two family members had brought their abusive NPD SO’s to the gathering. The two abusers instinctively avoided one another the whole time; they staked out different areas of the home and performed their separate “Great And Wonderful ME!” shows to their separate audiences. It was truly enlightening. There was no clash, there was not even an acknowledgement of one another, they just established separate territories and did their separate thing, “I I , me me me, bla bla bla”.
If you don’t already have a finely-tuned BS detector that will enable you to identify and avoid problematic people, I encourage you to practice your powers of discernment until you can quickly do this as well. Not to become problematic yourself, but to protect yourself from predators. No drama, no confrontation (these feed the narcissist), just a quiet moment of discernment and moving yourself away from the mess.=======================
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