Quora: Have you ever had a job interview, and you realized or felt like you are smarter

Have you ever had a job interview, and you realized or felt like you are smarter than the interviewer(s) but yet you did not get the job?

If I was in an interview and it seemed that the person interviewing me knew less about the job requirements or technical skills than I did, I would not assume I was smarter than the interviewer.

First, I would wonder if the person was ‘playing dumb’ to see if they could trap me into being condescending or going into obnoxious ‘mansplaining’ mode. They might be testing to see if you are the sort of person who can explain things to another person without talking down to them and making them feel bad or dumb.

Second, if I was interviewing for a technical position, I might think that the interviewer was someone in HR who was just checking to make sure I was presentable before passing me on for a second, more technical interview with a busy tech person who didn’t have time or energy to devote to an initial interview for the purposes of screening out candidates. In my experience there are many tech people who don’t have ‘soft skills’ for interviewing or public speaking, so the HR department may step in to help a technical department find a new employee who is not just technically smart for the position advertised but also a good fit personality-wise for the company culture.

If an employer reaches out to let you know that you were not selected for a job, it’s a good opportunity to ask some follow up questions to see what improvements you can make for the next interview. 

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 Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. 

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Quora: Is it smart to let the narcissist know your educating yourself about the narcissist?

Is it smart to let the narcissist know your educating yourself about the narcissist? And read some answers out loud to them.

 

No, it is not. When you let the narcissist know that you know the name of their game and exactly what sort of person they are, they will feel narcissistic injury. This is a wound and a threat to the very core of who they are. They will feel as though their life is at stake and they will lash out and fight accordingly.

They will not say ‘oh, you are right, I am a narcissist, and I am sorry I’ve hurt you and I will try harder to be a kind person,” So if that is what you think you are going to accomplish by telling the narc about their disorder, you are very much mistaken.

Instead, they will say “No, YOU are the narcissist, YOU are the abuser, YOU are the bad person” and they will take all of your research, all of the articles you’ve shared, all of the terminology you’ve educated them with, and they will use it to create an even bigger and better smear campaign to use against you.

Congratulations, you’ve handed a loaded gun to a psychopath. good job.

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 Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. 

They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.

Quora: Can a narcissist actually fear you after the discard?

Yes they do. Because you’ve seen behind the curtain of the Great and Wonderful ME! Show and you know how truly weak, disordered, and pathetic they are.

The discard, or the time of leaving a narcissist is the most dangerous time for their targets. Narcissist has been talking bad about you behind your back[1] since they first got with you. Their friends and (maybe*) family think you’re a jerk, a flake, and maybe worse. Everything bad the narc has done or even thought while they were with you, they’ve told their friends, fans, and flying monkeys that it was YOU who did and said those things.

 

End result: when you leave the narc, or when the narc throws you out, everyone the narc knows has been poisoned against you. They won’t trust you, they won’t believe you, and they won’t be likely to help you.

BUT, at the same time, if you have receipts, recordings, written documentation, or any other concrete items that can prove that the narc is lying, and IF you can get anyone to read, see, listen to, or believe those things, then the narc knows their whole empire of cards is going to start falling.

Either way, the narc will feel threatened and do everything they can to discredit and destroy you in every way that they possibly can. They are fearful and cowardly creatures but they are also very dangerous because of their circle of flying monkeys that they keep agitated and encourage to be vicious on their behalf, and they also have such a distorted sense of things that they will not take a proportionate and ‘fair’ view of what is owed to them or how far they can or should go to get their revenge on you (for leaving, for allowing them to throw you away, for trying to tell the truth about what really happened in the relationship)

Do what you can to minimize the person’s influence in your life, prepare for gossip and smear campaigns, and whatever you do, do not let the narc see or hear that you are affected by their behavior, or in any way afraid of them. This is why No Contact is important, and this is why it’s also important to lock down your social media, etc. after a discard or an escape. The stronger and more ‘large and in charge’ you can appear (and BE!) in your life, the more afraid they will be and the less they will try to get away with doing to you. Laughing in the face of gossips, snoops, moles, and flying monkeys will also help a lot. Just laugh and change the subject. “Oh, that crazy bitch is at it again, haha. Anyway, how have you been?”

* the reason I put a * and a ‘maybe’ next to my statement about the narc’s family is that the narc’s family of origin may be as hellish as the narc him or herself. She or he may have been raised by narcissistic abusers as bad or worse than them. So, if you are in touch with his/her family, they may just target you for more abuse if you go to them with any bad stories about the narc. On the other hand, if they are aware of the narc’s mental illness, they may believe you over their own blood family. Either way, I don’t advise that you keep contact with anyone who knew the narc before they knew you. In the event of a discard or an escape from a narcissist, I advise trying to restore ties to everyone the narc made you abandon or forced you to discard. They will more than likely be your best allies in the coming days.

Footnotes

[1] 

 

Smear campaign - Wikipedia 


======================

 Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. 

They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.