Quora: If you manage to recognize a narcissist's attempt at gaslighting you
Stay calm and exit the conversation as quickly as you can. If you continue to engage with them, it gives them what they want—your attention and drama as you continue to disagree. Say something polite and neutral—either as an ‘I statement’ ( “I disagree and I don’t think this conversation is going to get us anywhere.”) or something in a bit of a passive voice. (“It seems we are just going to disagree on this. I need to go now,”)
Don’t bother pointing out the behavior. (“You’re gaslighting me,” or “You’re being very rude right now,” or anything like that) That simply gives the narcissist another lever to try and manipulate or trigger you. If you point out their behavior as being gaslighting, rude, or abusive, they will most certainly DARVO[1] on you and accuse YOU of being the rude, abusive gaslighter.
Simply recognize that the gaslighting attempt has been made, congratulate yourself for seeing the manipulation attempt before falling into it, and make a graceful and powerful exit. Good job!
Footnotes
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