2004-04-12

2095icq w/A

Apr. 12, 2004

SkyeDS: how are you hon?
evile: Physically fine :)
SkyeDS: fine otherwise too I hope
evile: Peeved at the cow-orkers (what else is new)
SkyeDS: Sineater said he had called or IMd to check up on you, so I
relied on his reports
evile: He called...sometime...and talked with Sweetie, I think. I seem to
remember him saying something to me about it.
SkyeDS: they talked shop a long while
evile: Must have been Thursday evening?
SkyeDS: something like that. but he said he talked to you (I don't
remember what format. IM?) after surgery
evile: I came home from surgery Thursday around 3, ate, crashed, woke
up, ate agan, and went to bed. I was pretty beat.
evile: Nope, i haven't talked with Sineater. I updated my LJ on Friday &
he posted a comment there.
SkyeDS: that must have been what he was referring to I guess
evile: I suppose that counts as communication :)
evile: I guess all the Fit hit the Shan in HFS while I was down &
out. P What a mess!
SkyeDS: really?
SkyeDS: I haven't looked
SkyeDS: what site? Chaos? HFSCR? OOC?
evile: there's stuff in the hfsinchaos.com and then also in ....one
or two of the yahoo groups, I can't remember.
SkyeDS: I had the boys check Jin's response to my response to
something Jin said, and it was nice
evile: I had them set to 'mail' since they're not usually very
active, and I went in Friday and there were like 50 messages in my
box, half of them HFS 'dirty laundry'
evile: Jin always strikes me as being a very nice person.
SkyeDS: only met him in person once
SkyeDS: liked him very much
SkyeDS: he played with Michael ALL day
evile: I'm not sure I've ever met him RL. you know how good HFS
people are at making introductions. :(
SkyeDS: he's from Kallade and the only time I saw him was at that
Challain event in Dallas
evile: aha
SkyeDS: family reunion to which they invited the horses (!) ad CRW,
to which the horses are also invited (sigh) are same weekend
evile: decisions, decisions.
SkyeDS: we are allowed to be vendors at CRW
SkyeDS: so that makes CRW a business trip
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I just don't know how well the HFS will like having to pay
for what's been theirs freely before
evile: That's their tough patooties, I would think.
SkyeDS: wo'nt be a profitable business trip if nobody's willing to
pay.
evile: you won't know if they're willing to pay unless you give it a
try...kind of a nice catch 22, no?
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: was reading that this weekend (Catch 22)
SkyeDS: was giong to do it anyway and if it's a loss, it's a loss
evile: you'll have fun, anyway. Whether you make $ or not.
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: and get to write it off as a business trip
evile: yup.
evile: I'll probably just make it a day trip if I go to CRW at all.
Camping in July doesn't sound like much fun to me.
SkyeDS: told Rita we would need shade and water
SkyeDS: and she said the horses couldn't be in the creek
SkyeDS: and I said, um, I didn't mean to water them in the creek
SkyeDS: I prefer a faucet.
SkyeDS: so that I can fill, their bucket.
evile: heh.
evile: I've been having a wierd thing the last 2-3 days, where I am
having some kind of sensation in my abdominal area, but cant' tell if
it's a cramp, or needing to go #1 or #2. I don't mind the walks down
the hall, anything to get out of the cube, but I can see it getting
annoying if it goes on much longer.
SkyeDS: this normal/supposed to be happening?
evile: cramping, yes. But it just doesn't hurt enough for me to call
it a 'cramp'...I am used to the 'curl up in bed and wish for sweet
death' kind of cramps.
SkyeDS: nods. like I dealt with last week/this weekend
evile: yow.
evile: At least the weather was crappy so you didn't feel like you
were missing anything by feeling icky & not wanting to do anything.

2096 Re: icq w/A

Apr. 12, 2004

evile: As nice as some male Drs can be, I don't think any of them
really understand cramps
evile: The recovery nurse offered me morphine. I don't know why I
said no.
evile: Probably my first, last, and only chance to experience
opiates...
SkyeDS: :-/
evile: Oh well. Probably for the best. no point in liking something I
can't get legally.
evile: I had wierd enough dreams before & after the procedure,
ANYWAY. Didn't need any help tweaking my brain.
SkyeDS: when I have weird dreams I have sinus pain right between my
eyes, like concrete
SkyeDS: right where the fabled "3d eye" would be, I guess
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: donn't know which comes first, the weird dreams or the pain
evile: weird.
evile: Latest bizarre [brother A] news: he called Mom last week, Wednesday
or so, and said the wedding was off. But then when Lynn & Bob saw
them on Saturday, {Rubber Pig} was still talking about shopping for a
wedding dress.
SkyeDS: strange
SkyeDS: Sineater said it was off
SkyeDS: because Lamar didn't like it
SkyeDS: I said that must be the same lamar of the party
SkyeDS: and he said he didn't know
evile: Lamar=Trey's dad
evile: same Lamar as throws good parties Lamar.
SkyeDS: I thought so
SkyeDS: Greg & Kathy said that [brother A]'s accounts make no sense ad nkeep
changing
evile: [brother A] & {Rubber Pig} are both very unrealistic dreamer types,
the 'wishing makes it so' kind of thing, they build each other's
dreams up by talking about them like they're real. So..who knows.
evile: And [brother A] has _always_ been one to tell people what he thinks
they want to hear, either by omission or by outright fabrication of
facts.
SkyeDS: oh dear.
evile: But Mom, Greg, and [sister H] have all got to make travel plans &
arrangements with employers, etc. for July NOW...so ???
evile: As long as [brother A] is happy, I don't care if he's living in sin,
or whatever. But if Trey is not cool with it, or if his family is
financing their life and they are not cool with it, something needs
to change.
evile: I can certainly understand Trey's family members being
protective of him & not wanting him to be taken advantage of or
abused. I've been on the other side of that fence enough times to
*totally* empathize with Trey's folks.
evile: And [brother A] does have a distressing tendency to be a lazy-ass
when he can get away with it. He is a good worker & he works
hard....but only when he *has* to. If Trey's paying half the rent and
the other half is coming from..??? (Trey's folks, {Rubber Pig}'s folks?) and
he is eating and the lights are on ...he may not feel much urgency to
get out and bust his ass looking for a job.
evile: Oh well. I don't expect to hear any updates anytime soon,
since I don't have anything [brother A] or {Rubber Pig} needs.
evile: Lynn's still trying to coordinate a weekend we can all get
together. I think the rest of April is out. (feeling like I dodged a
bullet)

2098Re: icq w/A

Apr. 12, 2004

evile: Oh well...I just worry. I should not judge. I've been in love
& useless in the real world before. I've been depressed &
unemployable. I know where [brother A] is, I've been there...
evile: I don't think Trey, [brother A], or {Rubber Pig} are giving Trey's family
enough credit..if they just came out and told the 'full story' of
whatever's going on, I'm sure it would be much cooler than this whole
half-truth/fabrication/WTF that is going on now.

Lamar & his wife had an open marriage for YEARS before it went kaput.
evile: Trey and his sister were more-or-less raised by a group of
adults, their parents + whoever was living with their parents at the
mo'.... So whatever the real situation is could not possibly be
shocking to that crowd.
evile: Of course, I have to keep remembering this is all Lynn telling
me what [brother A] has told HER. And we pretty much know our side of the
family is not that cool with alternative lifestyle stuff. So.. enh.
evile: Oh well. If Mom, Greg, and H all take time from work &
book their flights, etc, and there's no wedding, we'll just have a
cookout & mini-family reunion, I guess. I'll be happy to see them,
whatever the occasion or non-occasion.
evile: Lynn is warming up to your park idea, BTW.
evile: No kid-proofing the house, no hiding the cats, no being
trapped in your own home while {Rubber Pig} runs her mouth for 5 hours and
you can't think of a polite way to ask her to shut up and leave, no
expensive & inconvenient restaurant drama...she is liking it more &
more :)
SkyeDS: sorry bout that
SkyeDS: boss disconnected to receive a fax
evile: no probl.work.
evile: I know.
SkyeDS: I'm glad Lynn likes idea of park
SkyeDS: I think a mini reunion would be cool
evile: Yeah...I am trying hard not to worry and be distressed. If
there's no wedding, so what? I don't want [brother A] to be marrying so soon
after meeting someone ANYWAY, and it'll be great to see the whole
family all together.
evile: so, win win, either way.
SkyeDS: nod
evile: I guess, really, I dont' care what the 'real' deal is. I just
don't like being lied to and KNOWING I'm being lied
to/played/manipulated.
SkyeDS: that sucks
evile: I'd like to think I'd be 'cool' if [brother A] just straight up
said "There are things about the relationship that are none of your
business"...
SkyeDS: I completely agree
evile: oh well.
SkyeDS: I think you'd be more cool about it now than before you met
the Polys and had a chance to get acclimatized and learn
evile: hopefully.
evile: I think [brother A] has an issue with me that he thinks I talk
about 'family business' with 'non family'
SkyeDS: Sineater and I had a talk about what family is exactly
SkyeDS: as to whether {Rubber Pig} can have expectations of me, if we are
family by marriage
SkyeDS: so who exactly is nonfamily
evile: I think you should only do for {Rubber Pig} what you feel comfortable
doing, and what won't inconvenience you horribly or cost you more
than you feel you could afford.
SkyeDS: I pointed out, I'm family by marriage
SkyeDS: [brother A] is a step
SkyeDS: she would be a step by marriage
SkyeDS: too tenuous to count, imho
evile: yup.
evile: She hasn't been around long enough to develop a track record
or create any personal history with anyone in the family, really.
SkyeDS: she wants lessons for the kids, she can drive all the way
from SATX. AND pay for them. like everyrone else.
evile: Sineater is a step, and you're a step by marriage, BUT...we have
time/ track record/history. If you called me and said you were
stranded in Waco and {Rubber Pig} called the same time and said she was
stranded in Houston, I'd come get you.
SkyeDS: aw ty :)
evile: If it was possible to help you both, of course I would.
BUT...due to time/track record/history, I'd prioritize you.
evile: I think you're wise to set a boundary on the horses & lessons
for the children. I haven't seen {Rubber Pig} abuse any priviliges (other
than overstay a welcome & monopolize conversation) but at this point,
we don't have anything to say she _wouldn't_
SkyeDS: I do'nt know who [brother A] considers family or not
evile: OTOH, if you were at a family gathering with the animals and
offering everyone else there free access, I would probably be a
little taken aback if you made {Rubber Pig} pay for her kids to ride.
SkyeDS: I wouldn't in that instance
SkyeDS: I was talking about lessons
evile: right.
SkyeDS: I'm not driving to SATX to give free lessons
evile: see, that makes total sense to me & seems to be a reasonable
boundary. Totally reasonable.
evile: Good point re: who/what [brother A] considers family.
SkyeDS: tell Aunt Lynn btw that if she's up to it and she gets tired
of {Rubber Pig} at Park I will give her one of the horses and she can ride
away too ;)
evile: heh.
evile: May 15 is the youngest child's b-day. I'll be in Montana
visiting w/Mom, but that may be "The Day" for the rest of the family
to meet {Rubber Pig} & the kids.
SkyeDS: that's my Mom's bday too
SkyeDS: and I suspect she and Gramma will be visiting around then
probably with daddy in tow
SkyeDS: he's retired since he got out of the hospital with the last
stroke
evile: Oh well. I think Lynn is not going to have much success
getting everyone together. Too many separate lives!
evile: I am glad your dad decided to retire! Hopefully he'll enjoy it
and not be antsy :)
SkyeDS: of all the people to be approving of an "alternative
lifestyle" somehow I didin't think it would be Lynn ( or Bob)
evile: Bob & Lynn are pretty traditional.
evile: Other than the 'no kids' thing, I don't think they're open to
much else in the way of non-traditional relationships. Well, they do
have a gay friend. But he is an older guy in a monogamous
relationship. So...
SkyeDS: my point exactly
SkyeDS: and she's trying awful hard on behalf of a very obviously
nontraditional relationship
SkyeDS: just....weird
evile: Well, [brother A] & {Rubber Pig} are very obviously trying to present their
situation as something approximating 'normal', despite the odd things
like Trey living with them, paying 1/2 the bills, being still married
to {Rubber Pig}, etc. They sweep those under the rug as best they can, but
neither of them is good enough at lying to omit them completely...
SkyeDS: does Lynn know about the sleeping arrangments and bedroom
sharing?
evile: Supposedly it's a 2 bedroom apt, Trey's on the couch, [brother A] and
{Rubber Pig} are in one bedroom and the 3 girls are in teh other. I take it
[brother A] gave Sineater a different story? (I have NOT asked. I do NOT really
want to know...other htan I dont' want to hear any more BS)
evile: I'm thinking if Trey's paying the bills, [brother A] & {Rubber Pig} aren't,
then they should probably BOTH be suckin' Trey's dick/putting
out...but that's just ME.
evile: then again, I have issues with
marriage=prostitution/institutionalized slavery in my mind, so ...
evile: All issues/humor aside, I think if one partner is working
outside the home & paying the bills, the other(s) ought to be
performing an equally-valued service for the household, be it child
care, cleaning, home-maintenance, or (my bugaboo) sexual services.

2099Re: icq w/A

Apr. 12, 2004

SkyeDS: bk sorry
evile: work, no probl. Where were we?
SkyeDS: evile: Supposedly it's a 2 bedroom apt, Trey's on the couch,
[brother A] and {Rubber Pig} are in one bedroom and the 3 girls are in teh other. I
take it [brother A] gave Sineater a different story? (I have NOT asked. I do NOT
really want to know...other htan I dont' want to hear any more BS)
SkyeDS: for some reason I thought I heard somewhere that the adults
are all inn one room together and the kids in the other
evile: That may be. Not the story Lynn has. But...it's nobody's
business bu t theirs. L&B have 3 bedrooms, and I'd never go to their
house and ask who uses which bedrooms, alone, or together, or with
friends. ya know?
SkyeDS: I was just wondering how much Lynn really knew given her
support of the whole thing
SkyeDS: given what I thought in general she was likely to think of
alternative lifestyles
evile: I think you are using the wrong word.
evile: 'support' is not what Lynn is giving to the 'relationship' or
the 'living arrangement' or the 'marriage'. "support" is what she is
giving to [brother A].
SkyeDS: ok
SkyeDS: it just surprises me
SkyeDS: but I don't mind being surprised like that, there are worse
surprises <shrug>
evile: I dont' think she is approving or supporting the relationship
or the living arrangements, I think she is keeping the lines of
communication open, keeping herself & Bob in the loop, so that [brother A]
knows he has somewhere to turn if/when things go badly.
SkyeDS: if that is the case, and it sounds highly probable, that is
very wise of her
SkyeDS: too bad the baby's parents aren't that wise LOL
evile: And, as long as [brother A] isn't being used or abused, and as long
as he's happy...she wants to be happy for him.
SkyeDS: smart woman.
evile: Well, it's not like we haven't been thru this before.
evile: [brother A] has made unfortunate romantic choices before. Patrick's
done this too...we learn from experience/mistakes & hopefully get
better at staying focused on what's important--the people we love &
their happiness.
SkyeDS: nods.
evile: If Greg gets too grumpy about driving/flying all that way for
nothing, I've still got most of the single malt scotch I got at
XMastime...so one more way to turn it to a 'win' :P
SkyeDS: nods. I can understand grumpy.
SkyeDS: finally found where the shit hit the fan
SkyeDS: why am I not surprised that Patrick started it, as usual.
evile: I am just entertained that people keep remembering, and then
forgetting again, that he lost several grand of HFS money and never
properly accounted for the loss or tried to do anything to get it
back/replace it, or anything.
SkyeDS: I'm wondering why they didn't volunteer to show anyone the
police evidence before now.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I mean, all good and well for Tiffany to try to make
reparations supporting a child on 8/hour.
SkyeDS: but let us know this up front
SkyeDS: don't play martyr a year later
evile: what-EVAR.
SkyeDS: anyway I s uspect I'm going to enjoy SCA more anyhow
SkyeDS: who knows I might even make Laurel (arts belt) or Pelican
(service belt)
evile: better organization & recognition for achievements (better way
to track things)
evile: I am not a big fan of historical accuracy & all that stickler-
ism....fun is fun, work is work, and I don't like one that starts to
look like like the other
evile: (actually, I've never had 'work' that seemed like 'fun'...that
might be nice)
SkyeDS: I don't expect awards of any kind anyway from any group
SkyeDS: I want to hang out in garb and ride
SkyeDS: and sing adn tell stories
evile: yup. Lots more opportunity for that with SCA, I would think.
SkyeDS: whatever else happens is all gravy
evile: definitely a good way to look at it.
SkyeDS: I could wallpaper a wall with the awards I've gotte nfrom HFS
over time
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: even so, nobody ever thinks about giving me a belt or mastery
<shrug>
evile: not enough communication between the kingdoms & not any
reputable way of tracking progress.
SkyeDS: even if that were not the case, I still wouldn't be belted.
SkyeDS: there are people who hate me as much as some hate
Sharjinka...without the other half of the people loving me the way she
is loved by half <shrug>
evile: the 'belt' thing seems to be a personality-based/ popularity
contest type thing.
SkyeDS: zactly
evile: knowing that, it would mean very little to 'win' the
personality contest.
evile: at least to me, personally. People are sheep. If I wanted to
be 'loved' by a majority in some obscure little gang of socially-
retarded geeks, I could probably do it...but why bother.
evile: I know who I am and I am confident in my own abilities, I
don't need any outside 'recognition' to give me anything
SkyeDS: whereas Knights (combat), Laurels (A&S) and Pelicans
(Service) are earned and mean the same thing regardless of where in
SCA you are
evile: yup.
evile: well, crap. I need to make my rounds & get ready to scoot out
of here.
SkyeDS: wuz wondrin, you usually out by 4
SkyeDS: /me hugs gently
evile: doing a little OT to placate the boss for being out so much of
last week.
evile: *hugs* Take care of you! Drive safe going home!
SkyeDS: ciao bella
evile: :)

2004-04-12

2094 latest on [brother A] & {Rubber Pig}

chat w/skye_ds 4/12/04

2095icq w/A

2096 Re: icq w/A

2098Re: icq w/A

2099Re: icq w/A

2100 vampire images