evile | 3712deleted from LJ

Oct. 28, 2005

after Sweetie's "why should you care?" and my own revelation that sineater
pointedly not speaking to me isn't all that much different from sineater
being on good terms with me and not having the time/inclination to
make contact. I still love him, but I've minimized his presence in my
life because I can't stand his relationship with his wife, and that's
his priority, so I respect it but I don't want any part of it.

Fuck this madness. I can't understand the kind of crazy thinking that
holds me responsible for other people's actions, simply because we
are acquainted.

==================================

evile (bramblekite) wrote,
@ 2005-10-28 16:24:00

Current mood: confused
Entry tags: pts

I'm still here.
sineater

{edit 10/28} I am not going away...and I would like to know what
you're trying, judging and condemning me for.

(and incidentally, it doesn't make a goddamn lick of sense to hold ME
responsible for the actions, thoughts, words, and feelings of ANYONE
who isn't ME.)

---------------------------

skye_ds says you're mad at me.

I'm here if you want to talk.

{edit 10/13}

Apparently the story is that I talked with 'someone' yesterday and
used the words 'abuse' 'torture' 'polygamy' 'nazi' and 'ex wife' in
reference to you and skye_ds.

Yesterday:

At work from 7:29-3:29. Did not speak to anyone on the bus ride to
work, nor engage in conversation with coworkers once I arrived.

ICQ with skye_ds and my friend Kahlua, whom you don't know,and you
were not a topic of conversation.

LJ entries: one with quizzes, one a private post

Bus Home. Again, no interaction with fellow passengers regarding my
family or anything else.

Checked on Sweetie, who has been sick.

Shower and change clothes

[aunt L] and [uncle B]'s. Visited with [uncle B], his brother Jim, [aunt L], and [Cousin B].
Your names did not come up.

7-8: [Cousin B] and I went to Krav Maga class. Too busy breathing and trying
to learn new moves to talk.

Back to L&B's, walked with [Cousin B] for about an hour, again, you were not
a topic.

Home, changed the sheets, went to bed. Did not even DREAM about you
or skye_ds.

So, that was my yesterday. I had no phone calls, no emails, no
conversations regarding you and skye_ds AT ALL.

I can't even believe I'm telling you all this, but I am kind of mad.
I'm trying VERY hard to get along with y'all and not make any
trouble, and I'm still getting fucked here. If I'm going to be in
trouble, ANYWAY, I'd rather have done something 'bad' first, ya know?

I am terribly sad that someone needs to make their lives more
interesting by trying to hurt poeple, and you know I've done and said
enough in the past that nobody would need to make anything up or dig
too hard to find hurtful things if they wnated to dredge them up a-
fucking-GAIN. So don't let whoever this is be putting words in my
mouth. You want me to say some shit for you to be pissed off at me
about, talk to me directly and I'll say it mydamnself.

Also, if you didn't know, it stresses skye_ds out to have to hear
about all your anger towards people whom you then don't speak with or
confront directly. It's not fair to put people in the middle like
that, and you know that. If you have no respect or regard for me,
then at least please show some for your legal spouse and stop
upsetting her with your anger at people who are not her.