*whistles innocently* If you think I'm talking about you...

[evile]

Hell, I probably am.

http://tinyurl.com/nsjbg6

I've also seen the opposite of #4, where "Miss Pro V" will start the relationship telling you that her ex was a monster, treating you like her savior, saying that she's never felt so trusting and so close and so loved before meeting you, then as the shiny wears off, or she doesn't get her way or you dare to disagree, suddenly you are 'just like' her awful abusive ex.

Comments

Re: You might be right.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I also think this blog, in being aimed at male victims of abuse, may swing too far to an extreme, much as ‘man hating feminism’ swings too far to an extreme in trying to bring balance to an overwhelmingly ‘white male powered’ world. For now, the world is still imbalanced. Victims are either exalted or vilified. Perpetrators get away with everything, or they are accused, tried and executed in the court of public opinion, which can be horribly wrong.

and in some exchanges, both people walk away wounded, each feeling victimized, raw, and hurting from the experience, each wanting to put themselves in the role of 'victim'...and neither is really right to do so. Most relationships aren't that clear cut....well meaning people hurt one another. We can do our best to be sensitive and kind and communicative and still fuck it up completely.

Relationships take risk; it's hard to be vulnerable, it's easy to get hurt, and it's easy to blame someone else for the pain. We all have to try and be responsible for our part and for ourselves. It's a copout, it's weak, and it's cruel to refuse to take responsibility for our experiences.