![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Quora: How do you destroy a narcissistic person?
My heart goes out to you. I’ve been where you are. A narcissist has harmed you or someone you care about. It seems that the narc always gets away with treating people horribly, taking whatever they can from whoever they can, and just goes along their merry way with no consequences. You are hurt, you feel humiliated, you feel pain and you just want to see them hurt as much as you hurt. You want them to feel sorry for what they did. You want them to understand that what they did was wrong.
And, I’m sorry but that’s just never going to happen in the way that you want it to.
Likewise, the efforts you make to undermine the narcissist’s "Great and Wonderful ME!" Show, whatever revenge attempts you may make, whatever heartfelt conversations you have with people about all the things the narcissist did wrong….all of those things are just going to hurt YOU. Sharing your story again and again will only make you bitter, warning people about the crazy behavior of the narc will make you look like a crazy person to the people you’re trying to warn or share your experience with, recounting stories of all the narc's bizarre behavior and beliefs will make you look bad, crazy, stupid, and/or evil. Holding on to that story of what they did to you and what they took from you will undermine your own relationships and rob your life of joy. Trying to hold them accountable in some way may even end up warping your own personality and morality into something that resembles a narcissist’s behavior, and all for nothing. You may as well be shooting arrows at the sun for all the harm you do to the narcissist.
I’ll tell you a secret, though: the narcissist is already destroyed. They are nothing but an empty shell, the facade of a building behind which is nothing—a Potemkin village[1], behind which is nothing but poverty, rot and emptiness.
Nothing they own brings them joy, nothing they do makes them sincerely happy, no person can ever love them or care for them in a way that they can truly feel or ever reciprocate. They are already nothing and nobody. And everything they do and say just brings them one day closer to the collapse of their fake world.
They are nothing but personification of hate, greed and envy. They don’t want what they have, they want what YOU have. They don’t value anything that they already have in-hand, and as soon as they achieve something, it becomes nothingness. “Food turns to ash in their mouth"[2]
Yes, they are dangerous. Yes, they are evil. Yes, whatever they did to you was harmful and wrong and you have every right to mourn what they took from you and feel pain at the harm that was done. But there is nothing you can do to them that is worse than the empty ball of hate and envy and nothingness that they have inside.
Heal yourself, choose a happy life full of good relationships, material items and achievements that make you happy and proud of yourself, and you will be living a life no narcissist can ever have or even understand. They will just hate and envy you from afar, and eventually destroy themselves with their own excessive & self-destructive behavior. I guarantee you that someday you’ll be able to stand over their grave, but by the time that happens, if you’re living your own best life, you won’t care anymore, except possibly to feel a bit of pity for the poor damned soul that lived so briefly in our world in such a wasted & empty way.
Footnotes
========================
They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.
If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal
And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.