evile | 3203icq w/A

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May 10, 2005

evile: the bad news is that I'm in a rotten, evil, hateful, downright
MEAN mood. The good news is I'm leaving at 12:30
SkyeDS: 12:30 rocks
SkyeDS: what's going on?
evile: 12:30 is good.
evile: Nothing specific; just seems that everyone is being irritating
and whiney lately.
evile: I just want to smack them ALL.
SkyeDS: I don't even want to smack them. Just avoid them. I'm n ot
getting any better at that yet.
evile: *nod*
evile: I am going with the avoiding route. Mostly. I had a nasty rant
in LJ but I deleted it almost as soon as I posted it; not worth the
drama to get it off my chest in that venue.
SkyeDS: nods. that would have been "asking for it"
evile: yup. And I don't really hate any of my whiney bitch friends,
they're just being whiney bitches and that's OK. I just dont want to
deal with it
SkyeDS: let me ask you something
SkyeDS: if you're upset and you need to vent and get it out of your
system to not be upset
SkyeDS: doesn't it upset you more for someone to talk to you like
you're five years old, tell you you don't have anything to be upset
about and to just calm down?
SkyeDS: the reason I'm asking this is, I want to know if I'm like,
the only one
SkyeDS: who gets more upset when people do t hat to me
evile: No, it's annoying, but they're trying to help.
SkyeDS: we can agree on the annoying part :)
SkyeDS: just doesn't help me calm down at all, matter of fact, it can
make it much worse for me
SkyeDS: especially if it's done in the tone you'd use with a
fractious five year old
SkyeDS: I don't tolerate that from my o wn mother, much less anyone
else.
evile: Maybe if you prefaced your rant by saying "I just want to
bitch, I don't want any advice. Hugs are OK, but no talking"
evile: ?
SkyeDS: it was a live rant.
evile: why can't you say that in RL?
SkyeDS: I did.
evile: or cut them off when they start talking to you by saying "I
didn't want advice, I just wanted to complain for a minute"
SkyeDS: and was told not to bitch.
SkyeDS: the "you have no reason to be upset so just calm down" was in
reaction to my saying, look, I just need to talk about it until I
have it worked out in my head and out of my system"
SkyeDS: there's soothing "calm down" and then there's
infuriating "calm down"...hard to put into words, would be easier to
demonstrate :|
evile: I don't like it when people tell me I have no right to my own
feelings; it pisses me off.
SkyeDS: exactly.
SkyeDS: invalidation of feelings = bad. even annoying little what's
his name who wrote Men are From Mars...gets that.
SkyeDS: Dr. John Gray.
evile: they're feelings, they don't have to make sense...in fact,
they don't usually.
SkyeDS: it's all intent
SkyeDS: helpful = soothing ... it's okay....it will be okay...you
will get through this...you've been here before and come out
okay.... etc
SkyeDS: supportive
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: not "you're acting like a big baby, you have no reason to be
upset, quit bitching about it and calm down"
SkyeDS: and people who dont' understand the whys and wherefores of
what's going on out to butt the fuck out imho
evile: um..if they don't know the whys and wherefores, maybe best not
to bitch to them.
SkyeDS: my mistake was not bitching TO said person but bitching in
front of said person
SkyeDS: I suppose I could have pent it up inside until I returned
said person to her abode since I was her ride, but that didn't occur
to me at the time.
evile: I know its tough when your'e upset, but choosing
time/place/audience is always advisable.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: Well, I'm sorry that happened. You have every right to your
feelings, as childish and whatever else they may be.
SkyeDS: oh well, it was a lesson in what not to do by way of being
sympathetic and comforting someone in need
SkyeDS: :)
evile: there ya go.
SkyeDS: and it was already well established that she's nuts anyway,
so I don't know why I would expect any different
evile: another fucking learning experience, as we say.
SkyeDS: choosing audience = same with LJ.
SkyeDS: I haven't toyed with filters yet, I probably need to
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: go home and have Godiva, and a heating pad/or hot bath :)
SkyeDS: I was looking at two person hot tubs like the doctor
prescribed for Mom's arthritis, she wrote it off on taxes as a
medical expense, can you believe that...
SkyeDS: but anyway, she had hers in the house, but I don't see how we
could get one in the house
evile: if you get a prescription.
SkyeDS: and then she tells me that you don't want a hot tub in the
house
evile: you can build a reinforced deck. Or if you have a concrete
slab in place, put it there. Peglegasus' is on his back porch slab
SkyeDS: right
SkyeDS: she had a screened room made out of her porch, t hen they
made it a permanent room, and put the hot tub in there
SkyeDS: permanent = real storm windows, heater, a/c.
SkyeDS: was also looking at portable hot tubs
SkyeDS: how cool would that be, take it with to events and whatnot
evile: *nod* those are smaller I think. But portable could be fun.
SkyeDS: hot baths = sacred imho.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: every time I find something else to pack I think the Boys
want to kill me
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: you get to go home now :) wind to your wings :)
evile: yup. *hugs* Take care!
SkyeDS: ciao :D