2738icq w/A

[evile]

Dec. 20, 2004

 

 

evile: hey! How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: perfectly lovely, yours?
evile: I got stuff done. Not as much as I wanted, but it was
productive.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: Now I just have to figure out how to get the rest done before
I leave on Friday morning.
SkyeDS: ya. I'm behind on my scheduling too. Which I will regret,
when it comes to the horses' necessities.
evile: Have you found any place to stash them during your Xmas trip?
SkyeDS: sonar0m is going to drive out once a day.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I was amazed that that was possible, situation being what it
has been, but, it's all good for the time being.
SkyeDS: maybe a sign things can get better, that would be lovely.
evile: It really would.
evile: eee! there's a new ride at the las vegas hilton! live action
with the borg! I'm sure J-Law won't be in the least bit interested in
that...but she might humor me if I offered to buy her a drink at
Quark's first :)
SkyeDS: lol
evile: I need to slow down and enjoy this week first before getting
all vegas-ed out.
SkyeDS: people are talking about snow at the end of the week
evile: not gonna happen.
evile: Icks, it might rain on the trail of lights Wednesday. that
would suck.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: I guess we'll play it by ear..
evile: I'll just have to remember to cancel everywhere I posted the
info, if the weather ends up being bad.
evile: I even scammed a parking space for Wednesday, so I could have
a vehicle up near work once we get back from the trail of lights.
SkyeDS: I thought at one point they let people drive through the
trail.
evile: they haven't allowed that for a couple of years, from waht I
understand. There are some charter services that go through the park,
but no private vehicles.
SkyeDS: just realized this is one of the things on my list of have
never done even though I've been here 16 years
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: on the list with Mexico, Padre, etc.
evile: There's a lot of cool Austin stuff I never do unless I have
out of town guests. I guess it's easy to take for granted that you
could do it any time, and therefore never get around to doing it.
SkyeDS: the man who at the Rockdale parade made a point of inviting
us back to the Milano parade turns out to be the mayor (we found that
out Saturday)
evile: cool. How did that go?
SkyeDS: we won 4th place ( a plaque and $25)
SkyeDS: we didn't even know there was a contest
evile: how fun!
SkyeDS: and of course both Sat and Sun were just the loveliest days
for riding anywhere in any capacity
evile: it was pretty out.
evile: I opened the windows while I baked, cleaned, and did laundry.
SkyeDS: does strike me as being a little out of whack, last week's
weather
SkyeDS: 80 degree weekend
evile: I kept telling myself I could go play once I was done
working...and then I never got done working.
SkyeDS: 27 degree freeze
SkyeDS: and then back to 60 degrees
SkyeDS: in a matter of days
SkyeDS: that jsut doesn't strike me as "normal"
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: I am not complaining or looking the gifthorse in the mouth,
mind you.
SkyeDS: beautiful warm weather is an obvious blessing.
SkyeDS: and freezes are necessities too.
evile: yup.
evile: I have a pepper plant that survived last winter because it was
so mild. I wonder if it died this last freeze...I should go check
SkyeDS: people who aren't in Texas seem to have the attitude that 107
degree summers for weeks on end are normal Texas weather
SkyeDS: I've only been around 34 years, which likely isn't a drop in
the bucket with regard to weather patterns
SkyeDS: but I remember when we didn't have droughts every summer
evile: me too.
SkyeDS: and it hasn't always been 107+ for two weeks every summer
evile: this past summer was mild enough.
SkyeDS: they say that omens a bad winter
evile: we usually get our truly shitty weather in jan-feb.
SkyeDS: that's been when the "3 day freeze" has hit last two years or
so, first or second week of Feb
evile: oh well, I can use the free time off work.
SkyeDS: I don't think that one bad freeze per winter constitutes
a "bad winter"
SkyeDS: but "they" don't define what they mean by "bad winter"
evile: nope.
evile: I was in Pennsylvania during the blizzard of 96, nothing Texas
has can bother me.
SkyeDS: words mean things
SkyeDS: much misery abounds because they mean different things to
different people
evile: yup
SkyeDS: everybody always talks about my foresight and my insight.
SkyeDS: seems to me like I operate on hindsight a whole lot. lessons
learned the hardway and not figured out till too much later.
SkyeDS: just got a little more insight as to why Kili reacted to
a "perfect stranger" the way she did to me
evile: Oh?
SkyeDS: I wasn't a perfect stranger
SkyeDS: she was a stranger to me, but I was not to her
evile: ?
SkyeDS: she took an interest in sineater two years ago and he didn't
return it
evile: Oh, wow....where did they meet, then?
SkyeDS: polys of course
evile: oh. sineater's come out to like...4 poly dinners in his life. She
must have really been hunting.
SkyeDS: apparently
SkyeDS: I'm kind of wondering why I'm just now finding this out.
SkyeDS: but that's a whole nother issue and I don't think you want to
know or that I want to tell you.
evile: ?
SkyeDS: but it does shed some light on why, at any rate.
evile: I don't understand. If she approached him and he rejected her,
was he obligated to tell you that she approached him, anyway?
SkyeDS: there are things that are very long and protracted that I
have no business unloading on you so I won't
SkyeDS: but what does bear on this, is, one of the reasons he turned
her down is because she's so nasty to the "other" women in her
relationships
evile: *nod* I know from my other friends that is true.
SkyeDS: so he knows that about her, knows he's rejected her, and goes
off and leaves me there completely unknowing to be blindsided
evile: How was sineater supposed to predict that a woman he'd presumably
politely rejected 2 years ago would hold a grudge that long?
SkyeDS: it's over and done with now, so it's all academic
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I just can't help feeling that had I known about what had
happened, I wouldn't have been so blindsided
evile: well, truthfully, I don't think there was enough experience
with her for either of you to predict her behavior and avoid the
situation.
SkyeDS: maybe so, maybe no
SkyeDS: not something I'm going to debate with him anyway, I don't
like wasting energy on abstracts with no practical application
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: very entertaining to debate angels/devils on heads of pins
when it's not important and there's nothing riding on it
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: so again, it wasn't Personal
evile: She may not be around much longer anyway.
SkyeDS: and I know there are people who think they "know" me because
they have heard of me, or whatever, that I don't know.
SkyeDS: that's just a good reminder.
evile: *nod*...also maybe a reminder not to discuss sensitive topics
in mixed/unknown company?
SkyeDS: unless you're going to be a sycophant/yesman, definitely
SkyeDS: and I'm usually good about that, judging my audience and
adjusting my expressions appropriately
SkyeDS: under the jack nicholson "you can't handle the truth" axiom
evile: Well, and if she'd already decided to be nasty, she might have
picked a ifight with you over something else...but no reason to give
people ammo, and if she'd blown up at you over something more
innocuous, it would have made her look worse than she did.
SkyeDS: I will keep in mind from now on that someone that I don't
know, may think they "know" me, as a corollary of don't take it
personally
SkyeDS: that is illuminating
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: just because I don't see where there should be issues,
doesn't mean someone else doesn't think there are
evile: yup
SkyeDS: it isn't like I don't know that I have an undesirable
Reputation that precedes me
evile: But if the first time someone meets you face to face, after
hearing nasty things about you, you are polite, civil, non-
inflammatory, the reputation recedes and the reality takes its place
SkyeDS: well, I think I was polite and civil about it
SkyeDS: but at least it's not so bewildering anymore
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and the other issues are going to be dealt with in due time.
evile: I wonder how anyone who calls themselves 'poly' can then go
and treat a potential love interest's current SO(s) badly and expect
to attract that person?
SkyeDS: who the hell knows?
evile: Granted, your love interest's SO may not be anyone you really
like, or love, but at least be fricken polite.
SkyeDS: I guess maybe our marriage is more closed than open, that
could certainly be argued.
SkyeDS: debated successfully I should say
evile: I think it's more of a challenge to do the 'big happy family'
model of poly. The more long term ones I've seen seem to be where
it's fairly compartmentalized. But, that makes a lot of people
unhappy because they want to share their loves with one another, when
the loves do not want to share their time with one another.
evile: Terriblelynne had mentioned this in her LJ a while back.
SkyeDS: not all polys are polyfi
evile: like "All catholics are christian, not all christians are
catholic." got it.
SkyeDS: and perhaps polyfi doesn't mix well with other poly
SkyeDS: like baptists don't mix with catholics
SkyeDS: I don't know
evile: *nod* I could never be involved with a swinger. There's just
too much nasty crap out there.
SkyeDS: there seem to be a lot of "polys" that don't understand/don't
like our particular Rules
evile: *shrug* I guess if they're interested enough, they will keep
asking questions until they do understand.
SkyeDS: and that's fine but I'm beginning to wish they'd keep t heir
criticisms to themselves
SkyeDS: if they want to be involved with us, that's the rules
evile: where are you getting criticism?
SkyeDS: if not, go find some other sandbox, no skin off the family's
nose
SkyeDS: so far from about every woman who wants to be with sineater under
some rules other than the existing ones
evile: ???
SkyeDS: has wanted to be I should say
SkyeDS: past tense
evile: If you're talking about nikiyoy's comment in your LJ, I dont' see
it, but if you're talking about other stuff, I don't have a clue.
SkyeDS: not at all
SkyeDS: that's why I made haste to say past tense
SkyeDS: there is a long list of women in the past few years who have
wanted to pursue something with him, and when they proved they could
not abide by the Family Rules, decided that they didn't understand
the Rules ergo the Rules were stupid
evile: hm.
SkyeDS: I don't like rules lawyers
SkyeDS: I don't like them in my profession, where they abound and I
can't do anything about it
SkyeDS: I don't like them in gaming situations
SkyeDS: I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them at all
anywhere, sam I am.
SkyeDS: and people who want to play rules lawyer with me, with rules
I was instrumental in devising, I don't get the point in that
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: and no, this has nothing at all to do with Nikiyoy.
evile: ok
evile: Nikiyoy is a sub...I doubt she'd stay around long once she got to
know sineater's feelings on the subject.
SkyeDS: he's "enlightened" on t hat subject, now, remember
SkyeDS: anyway, I am not going to impute past history onto her
evile: that's all well and good in conversation, but I suppose it
will remain to be seen what he does with someone who might actually
want to go there.
evile: I came up with the perfect way to deal with the creep at the
BDSM party, a week late,but what the hell.
SkyeDS: isn't that the way tho
SkyeDS: 24 hours later, or more, you think, I could have said...and
it would have been so witty/cute
SkyeDS: and you don't get the chance again
evile: Oh well. I hope I wont' have the chance to use it again, but
if it comes up I've got a better coping strategy.
SkyeDS: in my memory, I only once said something appropriate when I
had the chance
evile: *nod* yup, that's how it is for most folks, I think.
SkyeDS: "Yes, I'm pagan, poly, bi-friendly/curious, sex positive and
frisky. No I won't fuck you. Go play in traffic, gbye now"
evile: *laff*
evile: I wish I'd had that one at the first/last/only poly big fun I
attended.
SkyeDS: you might have reason to use it in future
SkyeDS: it would make a good button/tshirt
evile: *nod* I'd probably wear it sooner than say it.
SkyeDS: wear it and you might not have to say it :P
evile: I'm not particularly sex positive, not practicing bi at
the 'mo, so it's pretty irrelevant to my own situation. Just very
snappy & sure to get someone to shut up and leave you alone.
SkyeDS: I have since revised it too
SkyeDS: instead of go play in traffic, have a nice day, thank you,
please drive through.
evile: heh.
evile: I can't remember if I told you about the post-munch party, but
there was this guy who was pestering all the women there to see if
they were dommes and would top him. Tried very politely to brush him
off, but I think he lumped me in with the rest of the 'snobs' he
hated. (like I care right?
evile: If that happens again, I am going to tell the creep "I like to
pee on people. Get in the bathtub with your clothes on."
evile: now, if he takes me up on that...I guess I'll be in even
bigger trouble...but I am hoping that is far enough out to give
someone pause.
SkyeDS: omg that's good
SkyeDS: you may have to come up with something worse
evile: I guess it's possible to think of worse...until the person
finally backs away.
SkyeDS: ya, could run through bestiality, necrophilia, coprophilia
evile: yeeps.
evile: I am not even sure I could talk about any of that, let alone
with a straight face.
SkyeDS: well, if with a straight face he agrees to all of it, tell
him you're a sadist, and that when a masochist asks you to hurt him,
you say no.
evile: *lol!*
SkyeDS: ;)
evile: perfect! Brilliant! You should come to the next party & help
me think of these things.
SkyeDS: I would only embarass you.
evile: not if I had you tied up with orders not to speak to anyone
but me :P
SkyeDS: lol that would work
evile: *evil grin*
evile: I think the next munch is the same weekend you'll be in the
valley.
SkyeDS: it isn't any further to there than from Austin to Txka
SkyeDS: I don't know why I'm dreading the drive so much
evile: unfamiliar roads maybe?
SkyeDS: I DO know the drive to Txka, and I don't know the drive to
there
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: I don't know how much the unfamiliarity has to do with it
SkyeDS: maybe all of it
SkyeDS: I hope
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: because then it will go away
evile: Yeah. I'm sure you'll have a great time once you get there.
evile: I hate going places 've never been before. It scares me a lot.
SkyeDS: didn't used to bother me. I'm getting old before my time.
evile: More to lose if things go wrong, that is why you are more
cautious as you get older. (my theory anyway)
SkyeDS: I have to go to the bathroom a lot more now I"ve noticed
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: finally got to meet JG
evile: He's a sweetheart, isn't he?
SkyeDS: there are not words for how cute they were together
SkyeDS: tentatively holding hands and then breaking apart looking
guilty when they "got caught"
evile: *rolls eyes* ugh!
SkyeDS: I don't know what I was expecting, but yet I was surprised.
evile: I can only take so much of the cutesey poo.
SkyeDS: well, as long as I've wanted Sharjinka to find a man and be
happy, I think my tolerance will probably last longer than usual
SkyeDS: besides, it wasn't in my face, which is what usually grates
on my last nerve
evile: I'm disappointed I wasn't able to get either of them to go
skinnydipping at that party. But then again, I'm an instigator like
that.
SkyeDS: you are? say it ain't so!
evile: :P
SkyeDS: I don't know why people think I'm an instigator (just because
I actively matchmake on rare occasion)
SkyeDS: <whistles innocently><oh wait, I haven't been able to whistle
well since my two front teeth came back in>
evile: heh.
evile: We got invited to a NYE party in the sticks, thrown by a
couple we thought was broken up. Should be interesting.
evile: (assuming I go. I won't if Mom and stepdad don't wanna)
SkyeDS: some sticks are more interesting than others.
evile: I don't know what their travel plans are like. Last year they
left early on the 1st,so they might not want to go to any parties. I
definitely think we'll be skipping the Sawyers' this year.
SkyeDS: no! rofl
evile: I told Sweetie Rubber_pig will probably try for him next.
evile: He made a face and said "Try back when you're rid of that
GUT"...and I said "yeah, she probably would"
SkyeDS: I do not understand most women.
SkyeDS: I just don't.
SkyeDS: on so many levels I can't even get them all in my head at one
time.
evile: So many of them are just plain nuts.
SkyeDS: I will sleep with you if your wife doesn't know, but not if
she does
SkyeDS: I will attack the wives/SOs of the men I want for myself
SkyeDS: I will convert a polyfi man away from poly, make him mono,
and then take him, his family and his property away from his current
wife
evile: I guess you could always pretend you didn't know and laugh
about her behind her back together
SkyeDS: until she found out and boiled Arthur in a pot.
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: sineater has attracted such nuts in past.
evile: enh. Who hasn't?
SkyeDS: and then there's the "all women are my adversaries, we're all
after the same prey"
SkyeDS: and, I don't care if we both dated him, he was a jerk, we're
both long rid of him, I'm still not going to be friends with my
former lifelong best friend
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and I'm going to think with my feelings and not with my head,
rather than thinking with my head, and feeling with my heart
SkyeDS: adn then there's, I can't possibly get mad at my man, who was
the one supposedly committed to me, when he breaks that commitment
SkyeDS: so Imina get mad at whoever she is
SkyeDS: even if she didn't know about me
SkyeDS: and even better, even if there WAS no commitment between me
and him to begin with.
evile: yup.
evile: too complicated. I will stick with what I have and put up no
trespassing signs, thanks.
SkyeDS: one would think, how stupid could she be. but given current
trackrecord, I'm laying no bets.
evile: no tellin.
SkyeDS: I agree w/ Cady that "men are difficult and exotic creatures"
evile: people. not just men.
SkyeDS: I have often jokingly appended, in past, too bad we can't
keep them in the zoo, with the rest of the exotics
SkyeDS: but I still say, women are more difficult.
SkyeDS: generally speaking
evile: true enough.
evile: at least 2 of the three 'lesbian' relationships I've had, the
girl had to pretend like something else was going on in order to be
Ok with it...
SkyeDS: ...I would ask how one pretends that something else is going
on during sex....I understand doing one thing and fantasizing about
something else....but I'm not sure I could get my mind around it....
evile: pretend I'm asleep, pretend you're drunk and don't know what
you're doing, refuse to talk about it when both are sober and
awake...things like that.
SkyeDS: :(
SkyeDS: it has been a long time since I was in non-committed
relationships, I have forgotten much
evile: Oh well. it happens in heterosexual relatinships too, depauw,
frats & the 'mash and dash' as shining examples of that.
SkyeDS: people who lie to themselves can't help but lie to other
people
evile: My stuff is all ancient, ancient history by now...just
sometimes still gets remembered with a little twinge.
SkyeDS: they may not be hurtful on purpose, but that doesn't lessen
the hurt
SkyeDS: when MIL and I had that conversation a long while back, I
told her, I don't care if ranch hand didn't mean to do harm, if my
horse dies, she's dead. regardless of intention.
evile: true.
SkyeDS: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" and all that.
evile: well, and back then I didn't realize it was them,not me.
evile: I took it as 'you're ashamed of me, you don't want to be my
girlfriend'..but it was really they were not willing to deal with
those feelings in themselves.
SkyeDS: Was Not Personal
SkyeDS: what's so hard about that is, obviously to them, it IS
personal, it IS your doing
evile: yup. I learned my lesson and moved on, but you will note,
chose a male as my life partner.
SkyeDS: and if your personality is predisposed from the beginning to
that thinking
SkyeDS: and that has been reinforced by your environment on top of
that
SkyeDS: it would be so nice to have a quad like NoelFigart does.
SkyeDS: especially if the new wife and I were friends like that
evile: *nod* but that's a lot of work too.
SkyeDS: I have told the women I know right now that I already
consider them Family and wouldn't mind if they became Family with sineater
SkyeDS: Kelly, Sharjinka
evile: aww.
SkyeDS: I can't remember anyone else offhand
SkyeDS: and t hen kelly, who is too weirded out by me offering sineater
SkyeDS: slept with Ricky
SkyeDS: as in Raptor of Raptor and Sora, Rick of Ricky and Angela
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: that, however, turned out badly eventually
SkyeDS: but anyway, there are women out there, that because we are
already so close to them, would be as seamless an addition to the
Family as possible
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: Kaleon liked to play on my insecurities a lot, in a lot of ways
SkyeDS: one of them is he says that I want to have multiples and then
I don't want to let anyone else
SkyeDS: and that isn't even remotely true
evile: I would think that the 'rules' of Sharjinka's relationship with
JG would preclude her involvement with sineater.
SkyeDS: this was pre-JG :P
evile: *nod* Oh OK.
SkyeDS: and she wouldn't even take me up on the offer of his
companionship when she was lonely
SkyeDS: going to movies together and what not
SkyeDS: I'd even feel comfortable with t hem off riding together alone
SkyeDS: not many women I feel that way about
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but a healthy well adjusted quad seems more balanced than a
triad.
evile: I would think so.
evile: oh, crap! It's past my go time!
SkyeDS: scram!
evile: *hugs* hasta manyana!
SkyeDS: ciao!