Where I part from the Usual Error

[evile]

I think a majority of what humans call 'communication' is actually threat-display, vying for dominance, and other forms of establishing hierarchy. Not actually "I want you and I to understand each other as equals," but "I want you to understand and respect that I am stronger/smarter/better than you, and here's why. Just sayin'"

And, as kulilinei has pointed out so adroitly in the past, a lot of pretty words are merely camouflage for someones' true self and/or true intent. Either due to not feeling strong and smart enough by just using your own words or knowing that you can't get close enough to your prey if you appear as dangerous as you really are. So you put on your Ghandi quotes and your 'just sayin'' until you are close enough to strike that vein and get what you want from your intended victims. (And, as the Usual Error chapter points out, if you call someone on their "Just sayin'" then you are usually the one who is perceived as a big meanie poopyhaid, because so-and-so was 'just sayin'...so they're the victim for 'just sayin')

We can't make the mistake of assuming that every other human-appearing thing out there is actually a human being with similar wants, needs, desires for love, respect, and understanding. Some two-legs out there are toxic predators and get their feelings of happiness, safety & well-being from making sure that others' feelings of happiness, safety, and well-being are well and truly destroyed.

*shrug*

But then again I'm in a dark place today, and you may take my words with as much salt as needed.

Comments

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I understand. I think a lot of folks just don't realize how they come across, and/or don't know any other way to behave...and have no real reason to try to understand themselves or change. It's still working for her, she's still getting what she wants, &/OR it's too frightening to try and change...and/or she isnt willing to see or admit that her own behavior and attitudes are what is making her life suck...she'd rather blame you, or her family, or her workplace...I get that. I do that sometimes, too.

part of forgiveness that i stumble on very badly is wanting the transaction, wanting the other person to admit their part in what happened, to change or do better, and with my smart brain I totally get that is NOT gonna happen but I cant stop my wanting of it, and that creates anger, resentment, and unforgiveness. I am so damn dumb, for a smart gal.