Entry tags:
250
Well, I hit 250 libs this month; I had been hovering around 230-240 since 2018, even lost a little when I quit my nasty old state job at the middle/end of 2018. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, or different to suddenly be at 250. Old age metabolism I guess. I'm walking dogs twice a day, don't feel that I'm eating any differently. I did try out Huel for a while so maybe that's what did it, those 400 cal morning shakes. Even when I just used half the powder for 200 cal and a 'complete nutrition' meal I guess that did something to my system.
I'm not really sure what I'm willing to do, not do, or give up doing in order to fix this. I feel like I'm already pretty fucked up when it comes to body image/etc, I don't really want to give myself anorexia or bulimia (again - did some of that in my late teens)
I started the beginning of Sept with goal of drinking a gallon of water a day; it does seem that being fully (overly) hydrated means I don't get an impulse to snack during the day.
I'm using the huel hot and savory things for lunches during the week, or having leftovers if there are any (weekends, we get chinese or pizza either Saturday or Sunday night, so that's good for a few leftover lunches during the work week)
And we are once again trying a meal kit service so I am not making suppers that are too big.
So, I dunno. bleh. Of all the terrible awful no good things I do and am, I am starting to believe that Fat is not one of them. It just is. I don't like seeing myself in the mirror, but fuck it, I never have. Not even when I was young and beautiful (but didn't know it or believe it at the time) ...so who cares about that.
On the plus side, my feet and knees are happier now that I'm wearing Xero shoes and what I suspect was a plantar plate tear on my left foot is healing nicely. A couple more weeks of buddy tape and I think it'll be fine.
I'm not really sure what I'm willing to do, not do, or give up doing in order to fix this. I feel like I'm already pretty fucked up when it comes to body image/etc, I don't really want to give myself anorexia or bulimia (again - did some of that in my late teens)
I started the beginning of Sept with goal of drinking a gallon of water a day; it does seem that being fully (overly) hydrated means I don't get an impulse to snack during the day.
I'm using the huel hot and savory things for lunches during the week, or having leftovers if there are any (weekends, we get chinese or pizza either Saturday or Sunday night, so that's good for a few leftover lunches during the work week)
And we are once again trying a meal kit service so I am not making suppers that are too big.
So, I dunno. bleh. Of all the terrible awful no good things I do and am, I am starting to believe that Fat is not one of them. It just is. I don't like seeing myself in the mirror, but fuck it, I never have. Not even when I was young and beautiful (but didn't know it or believe it at the time) ...so who cares about that.
On the plus side, my feet and knees are happier now that I'm wearing Xero shoes and what I suspect was a plantar plate tear on my left foot is healing nicely. A couple more weeks of buddy tape and I think it'll be fine.