J-Law: LOVE YOU HUGELY [thought you needed to hear it]. Specific replies to comments in >blue.
evilE H <eekatfreaksdotnet@yahoo.com> wrote: My thoughts, exactly.
If she really wanted to talk, she has all my phone numbers. If she really wanted to talk, she knows where i live. She doesn't really want to talk. She just wants to try and make me feel bad. >Exactly. This is clearly an approach-avoid/passive-aggressive thing. It is very easy for her to shoot off an email to you on the theory that the ball is then in your court. You don't reply, you get to be the bad guy (in her mind, that is).
I guess she's hoping I'll somehow believe that all the nasty email she sent me and the letter she sent my mom were somehow engineered by [M - Xtal's husband], and not her. Sorry, but that 33 years cuts both ways--I know better. >Well, not only do you know better, but the "[M - Xtal's husband] engineering" theory assumes that she is the sort of person who would abandon a friend of 33 years at the request of a spouse whom she acknowledges is off his nut. What kinda friend would do that? It's really not a good argument for her to be making. There's me. Thinking like a lawyer. :)
I also suppose I am supposed to be fired up with curiousity & drama-seeking with that "There's so much I want to tell you" or whatever the hell. >Again, more of her a-a/p-a crap to get you all worked up. Nope. I'm done. It takes a LOT to get me to the point where my instinct for self-preservation overrides my love and loyalty and stubborn need to HANG ON to people, no matter how badly they treat me. But...it's to that point & past it. >Good for you. The fact is, she chucked your loyalty & love right down the can. She stopped seeing you clearly, valuing your friendship, and understanding you. You're the kind of person who "sticks." That's very admirable and very rare. If the people you love "stick" back, it's a wonderful thing. The downside, as you know, is that some people just can't or won't "stick," and you're the one who gets the shaft.
*sigh* How tedious. I *must* figure out how to get my OUtlook at work to just delete that crap as soon as it hits the inbox. Or better, just block the sender completely. My yahoo mailbox is the best for that. >As for her emailing you at work - I bet she just has a nickname for you in her address book and she shoots it off to the nickname, not caring which of your email addresses it goes to. You have told her before not to email you at work. The fact that she keeps doing it, doesn't bother to look at/update her address book just goes to show you how lazy she is, and how she thinks the onus for all of this has to be on you. You shouldn't HAVE to filter. If she feels the need to contact you and wants a productive discussion, she should call. If she is too much of a wuss, she should at least send her crap to your non-work address. >Outlook sucks. Maybe tell your IT people that this woman is harassing you? Maybe it's something they have to do to their server, spam filter or whatever, if it can't be done by you in your inbox. =============== my reply:
Love you, too :)
Thanks for your ever-sensible perspective.
I'd be amused if I wasn't so annoyed.
=E ============== J-Law: Well - my dad used to say to me, "never attribute to malice what is more readily explained by stupidity." That is pretty much the maxim upon which all of my thoughts on these situations are based.
It's sensible, I guess. But in a way, I'd rather be chucked as the goal of a devious, malicious plot than because the other person was too stupid, lazy, whatever to keep up their end.
Or maybe not. Both suck, probably equally, but for different reasons. One you get to be wronged and martyred, and the other, you get to sit back, be sensible and laugh sardonically. === me: I should have just let her dump me last summer when we had that stupid argument after Natural Magic's Midsummer ritual. Then she could have felt all morally superior and wouldn't be pestering me. Well, maybe. The lure of the gravy train is hard to resist for someone as greedy and grabby as she is.
Oh, well. Were I some sort of Newage white-lighter, I'd say that there's a "Karmic lesson" or "karmic debt" that I haven't learned/repaid yet and that she's not gonna quit until I have. Luckily I don't believe in that garbage.
1628Re: OH DEAR GHOD
Sep. 17, 2003
J-Law:
LOVE YOU HUGELY [thought you needed to hear it]. Specific replies to
comments in >blue.
evilE H <eekatfreaksdotnet@yahoo.com> wrote: My thoughts, exactly.
If she really wanted to talk, she has all my phone
numbers. If she really wanted to talk, she knows where
i live. She doesn't really want to talk. She just
wants to try and make me feel bad.
>Exactly. This is clearly an approach-avoid/passive-aggressive
thing. It is very easy for her to shoot off an email to you on the
theory that the ball is then in your court. You don't reply, you get
to be the bad guy (in her mind, that is).
I guess she's hoping I'll somehow believe that all the
nasty email she sent me and the letter she sent my mom
were somehow engineered by [M - Xtal's husband], and not her. Sorry,
but that 33 years cuts both ways--I know better.
>Well, not only do you know better, but the "[M - Xtal's husband] engineering" theory
assumes that she is the sort of person who would abandon a friend of
33 years at the request of a spouse whom she acknowledges is off his
nut. What kinda friend would do that? It's really not a good
argument for her to be making. There's me. Thinking like a
lawyer. :)
I also suppose I am supposed to be fired up with
curiousity & drama-seeking with that "There's so much
I want to tell you" or whatever the hell.
>Again, more of her a-a/p-a crap to get you all worked up.
Nope. I'm done. It takes a LOT to get me to the point
where my instinct for self-preservation overrides my
love and loyalty and stubborn need to HANG ON to
people, no matter how badly they treat me. But...it's
to that point & past it.
>Good for you. The fact is, she chucked your loyalty & love right
down the can. She stopped seeing you clearly, valuing your
friendship, and understanding you. You're the kind of person
who "sticks." That's very admirable and very rare. If the people
you love "stick" back, it's a wonderful thing. The downside, as you
know, is that some people just can't or won't "stick," and you're the
one who gets the shaft.
*sigh* How tedious. I *must* figure out how to get my
OUtlook at work to just delete that crap as soon as it
hits the inbox. Or better, just block the sender
completely. My yahoo mailbox is the best for that.
>As for her emailing you at work - I bet she just has a nickname for
you in her address book and she shoots it off to the nickname, not
caring which of your email addresses it goes to. You have told her
before not to email you at work. The fact that she keeps doing it,
doesn't bother to look at/update her address book just goes to show
you how lazy she is, and how she thinks the onus for all of this has
to be on you. You shouldn't HAVE to filter. If she feels the need
to contact you and wants a productive discussion, she should call.
If she is too much of a wuss, she should at least send her crap to
your non-work address.
>Outlook sucks. Maybe tell your IT people that this woman is
harassing you? Maybe it's something they have to do to their server,
spam filter or whatever, if it can't be done by you in your inbox.
===============
my reply:
Love you, too :)
Thanks for your ever-sensible perspective.
I'd be amused if I wasn't so annoyed.
=E
==============
J-Law:
Well - my dad used to say to me, "never attribute to malice what is
more readily explained by stupidity." That is pretty much the maxim
upon which all of my thoughts on these situations are based.
It's sensible, I guess. But in a way, I'd rather be chucked as the
goal of a devious, malicious plot than because the other person was
too stupid, lazy, whatever to keep up their end.
Or maybe not. Both suck, probably equally, but for different
reasons. One you get to be wronged and martyred, and the other, you
get to sit back, be sensible and laugh sardonically.
===
me:
I should have just let her dump me last summer when we
had that stupid argument after Natural Magic's
Midsummer ritual. Then she could have felt all morally
superior and wouldn't be pestering me. Well, maybe.
The lure of the gravy train is hard to resist for
someone as greedy and grabby as she is.
Oh, well. Were I some sort of Newage white-lighter,
I'd say that there's a "Karmic lesson" or "karmic
debt" that I haven't learned/repaid yet and that she's
not gonna quit until I have. Luckily I don't believe
in that garbage.